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When I visit my mother we will be having a conversation, doing something etc and she will stare at me. Sometimes this goes on for 5 minutes solid where she will just stare at me. I have caught her doing this and I will stop doing what I am doing look at her and say “What” she will say “ohhh nothing”, return to what she was doing. A few minutes later she will do it again. If this continues I will ask her again “What???” Then she will launch into something about my personal appearance.
Typical examples will be:
Have you cleared it at your job that you don’t have to shave every beard every day?
I guess I’ve never noticed how yellow and sallow your skin looks.
Have you thought about visiting the Dr. to address how red you are?
Maybe it’s just me but you are looking older and older.
Do you think those pants fit you right?
Are you ever going to finally spend some money on some decent new clothes?
I tend to just come up with a quip or something to deflect this. But sometimes this will lead to her asking the same question over and over in a 40 minute to hour visit. She got so concerned one time about a place on my face that she wanted to drive me to the ER to have it looked at. Anyone else get this? If so? Other than quips how do you handle it.

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Just leave. Get up and leave. If you are sharing a meal excuse yourself say you don't feel well and leave. If you are doing something for her finish and leave.
You could be direct and tell her to stop with the rude, intrusive and unsupportive comments and if she continues leave. Just keep leaving sooner or later she might get the hint but don't count on it. You don't have to sit there and take it because its
your mother. The power to stand up and leave has changed my life.
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My mom who lived to be 95 reflected quite often on the past. Most people do this, no matter what health issues they have or don’t have. Could her reflecting be manifested in a form of staring?

Sociologist have referred to senior years in one’s life as their ‘reflective’ years. It’s normal because they have more years behind them, than ahead of them. People in their twenties have ‘building’ years because they are building their lives.

I am sure that your mom’s behavior is more pronounced, so it may be somewhat bothersome to you. Has she always had a ‘perfectionist’ personality? My mom did. So, if I wouldn’t have heard certain comments, it would have been out of character.

Has she been more relaxed in her personality and this is new for her? Do you feel that you should mention this to her doctor?
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My mother did a lot of staring while in NH. Her communication ability was sporadic so we often didn’t know what she was thinking. I got into a mindset that maybe she was reflecting on me, my life, her raising me, our time together. I had to choose to view it as comforting for her. Don’t ask “what?” You know by now that it never leads anywhere good
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