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Golden..l.do you remember any more camp songs?
Did you do the one about a Ford?
It went:
I got a little ole pile of tin,
Nobody knows what shape it's in.
Got 4 wheels and a running board,
It's a Ford ,Oh it's a Ford.
Honk honk ,rattle ,rattle ,rattle ,crash,beep,beep
Honk.honk.rattle,rattle.rattle crash beep beep
Honk ,honk rattle rattle rattle beep,beep.
Honk-honk.
I loved going to Girl Scout camp every summer,when I was a kid.....
A l o n g time ago~
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And I wanted to say to ALL of you, sence Needshelp issues, please take care of yourselves.

This is purely selfish, you all have helped me so much, and I'm not done learning from you all, I very much need you guys . 😥🌹❤️🙂
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They stick in your head , and sometimes you can't get them out. A newer song that sticks in my head is

"That solo Cup, I pick you up, let's have a party"
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Can't get those campfire songs out of my head!!!

"Here we sits like birds in the wilderness..."

I often feel like a bird in the wilderness waiting for??? Currently for my house to sell, but it could be any number of things.

"Oh, it ain't gonna rain no more, no more
It ain't gonna rain no more
How in the heck can I wash around my neck
if it ain't gonna rain no more?"

Seems to be a bit of a waiting song too.

"She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes. She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes...

Talk about repetition. But life seems like that at times.
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Hey! Venting. You're a regular! That gets you SOMEthing, right? I mean, otherwise.........
Take care. Keep Venting. We're here.
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Thank you for lifting my spirits!!!
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And when you start feeling better ya kinda realize how dumb you where.

Not that you guys are dumb at all but that's the way I feel thinking back

3 years I didn't go to one store by myself, not that I'm a huge shopper, but I took mom to every store I went to for 3 years, and they where always the stores she would want to go to. If I ever did go somewheres for me I felt so guilty, or it was to pick something up for her.

I devoted 3 years to my mom, who won't even put me on her emergency call list at her doctor's. So yeah looking back I kinda think , what the heck was I thinking!

Houseflower and venting, you will have those moments of " what was I thinking '

And yes the freedom I feel walking into a Kohl's just for me is amazing 😍.

Don't get me wrong, I still have a bumpy road but the bumps are fewer and farther between.
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It’s work guys .
But seeing the bigger picture of how the world is and what you want out of life after caregiving is worth it . Peace is what I want most , including within myself .
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Alva - good to let go of taking responsibility for everything. I think there are many of us here. I've learned quite a bit about that even in the past few years. Re the dr who dropped, surely no news is good news!

venting ((((hugs))). Only you can reclaim or rebuild your life. It's easy for some of us to get lost in the problems of others. You matter. You are as important as any one else, including those demanding seniors. You can put yourself and your needs and wants first. Start with baby steps and do something good or fun for you regardless of what others want from you. If you were hit by a bus they would manage - believe me, they would. You are not essential to their welfare. But you are essential to your own welfare.

hothouse ((((((hugs))))) for you too. Can you change anything in your situation to take some of the pressure off you? Like with venting and all of us - you are important too. Your needs should be met. Your peace of mind matters. When something hurts us it's time to make a change. Easier said than done, I know, but sometimes we have to work hard and even fight for ourselves. Others may be unhappy but's that's their problem.

nacy - glad you are on a better path - it's so freeing!!!!

way - you too - Giving up fixing is a hard lesson but so worth it!

Peace to all!!!! 🕊
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Way, I was actually invited to an old highschool/ neighbor friends bday party today.

Saw her through he dad's deteorating and passing, she is never there for me, when I complained about my mom, she said to me, your just going to have to suck it up.

Guess what, I didn't respond and I didn't go!!! 😁😁😁
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Nacy,

Not just see things differently about your own family .
I now see other things differently .
I’ve learned to let more go . I learned to look for peace rather than trying to be the fixer. It was hard , because I was raised to be the fixer ..
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Oh way I'm starting to see things so different now
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You will find yourself again , it takes TIME though . And it’s WORK.
Work well worth it .

But you will also find out it will be different in some ways . You will view some things differently . Perhaps some priorities are rearranged, shift a bit . Some old interests remain , some new interests may appear , some things don’t feel as important anymore . But that’s ok too. It’s a new chapter of life .
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Sorry houseflower, I have my moments and really bad days for sure and there will be more , I'm sure.

But I'm learning to have my good days too. I'm relearning how to be happy in spite of everything.

Please work on doing that, it's so bad for all of us to hold that stress in. You are worthy! You both are worthy of happiness.

Sometimes I even feel guilty for being happy again but I'm sure you would both say the same thing to me if things were the opposite.

What bundle said today , don't die before your dead, was beautifully well said and what we all should be telling are selves
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Venting, Yes I miss that person. I can’t stand the person I’ve become. I’m angry, and have a very short fuse a lot of the time. I’m resentful because I live out of a suitcase much of the time and can’t join or get involved with things because of bicoastal life right now. I’m a nervous wreck about financial stuff which causes anxiety and insomnia.

I used to be a much happier person. I hope I find my way back.
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Alva , I love that idea,

My husband actually got covid on vacation 2 years ago. In Gatlinburg we had to stay a few extra days. It was actually an ok time, I did some shopping, got a good book. While he slept most of the time.
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Venting, to those who have never had the stress we have , that would be such an odd statement

But I get it, we all get it. I've gotten much of myself back with , help from a lot of different avenues, after loosing my marbles this winter. But I still disappear, in worry, greif, stress , I so get that statement.

And yes Alvas right, you have to take care of yourself, to get part of yourself back. The constant worry destroys us. People would tell me I need a vacation, I was like why I still have to come home, the thought of getting away,did nothing to make me feel better. Don't do to yourself what I did. Enjoy your some of your life free of worry
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Venting, at 81 I have been so many people I wouldn't know myself if I passed me in the street.
I often think about this. I think if we live long enough (and of course switch husbands often enough) we live lives entirely divorced from one another. We are quite simply different people at different times.

I think you are getting exhausted with something; I hope you take time for yourself just to do something ALONE that you love, whether going to a Museum, gardening, knitting, taking a few days alone at a motel where you watch TV and eat stuff that's bad for you.
Thinking of you.
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Does anyone miss who they once were? I miss myself. Hope we meet again.
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I was sitting outside drinking my coffee this morning watching the birds and squirrels.

The squirrels are so cute and busy little creatures!

I absolutely loved all of the Beatrix Potter books as a child. I read all of them to my children when they were young.

I really enjoy watching all of the birds too. I started giggling because I suddenly remembered a time when my dad ran into the house looking uneasy.

A blue jay was protecting her nest and attacked my dad! She swooped down and chased him off. He was quite unnerved by his encounter with this bird.
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Margaret,

You’re right about how much people will spend on craft projects.

One of my friends spends an absolute fortune on scrapbooking!

I don’t know how she isn’t broke buying all of her supplies. She has a craft room, plus a closet filled up.

Her cards are beautiful but she goes overboard with spending.

She makes all sorts of things with her Cricut machine.

I have been shopping with her and I would not want to be paying for her credit card bills.
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cw,

I know a woman who does volunteer quilting with her church group. It’s one of their ministries. They do baby quilts that are lovely. The mothers love the quilts.
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CWillie, I believe you are right in many cases. My friends do small quilts and donate them to hospice, they are very often treasured by the dying one and after by the family. My guess is the ones that cherish them, know the love that went into making it.
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Re: the quilting - I sometimes attend a group that makes simple tied quilts for charity and in my heart I have questioned the value of this project. Because we are using donated fabric and thread and the only things we need to supply are the batting and our time I suppose it works out as a positive, but otherwise I'm not sure if the recipients would value these hand made items over a nice warm blanket.
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I re-read my ‘judgement’ on quilting, and it does sound a bit bitter and twisted. So I should add that the people who do it, absolutely love it! Take it up if you will love it too! But it does take a very long time and it IS an expensive hobby.
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Quilting here is never done with bits of worn-out clothing or other fabric. It’s always new fabric, and there are always three layers. It is a very expensive hobby.

The material for ‘pretty’ quilted side is only the first expense. Fat quarters cost more than simple yardage! The fabric backing is special extra-wide fabric (sometimes a high-quality large sheet), and the batting layer in between (the stuffing for warmth) is also a special extra wide expensive exercise. For a quilt, all three layers are stitched together, either by hand (a very awkward job) or on a special sewing machine that allows such a large article to fit under the presser foot. The stitching itself is an art form, not straight up-and-down. Here there are a couple of women who have the big machines and can do it for you, and it costs $$$. Of course both of them are heavies in the Quilting Club. The actual paid-out costs for a bed-sized quilt are between $500 and $1000, without putting any value on the unpaid work of quilting the ‘pretty’ front layer. It’s very different from the old pioneer ‘quilting bee’ using second hand fabric scraps.

It’s like a lot of craft. When I was a child, DIY craft was a way of saving money. Now most crafts are a way of spending money, and often a lot of it. Yes, the ‘pretty’ side or a quilt is often very attractive, but in my mind it is still about ‘ cutting perfecting good fabric into small pieces and then stitching it back together’.
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I don’t know if I could pick a favorite quilt. They are all beautiful.
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I was blessed to have a senior friend teach me how to quilt, it is truly an art form and a total joy to do.

The work that woman use to perform was tedious and quilting provided and provides a welcome chance to visit with like minded people and create something useful and beautiful for your home.

My favorite quilt, a crazy quilt that has used all the leftovers from clothing your family. Beautiful beyond words.
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I am amazed with the artistry of quilting and watch anything I can on TV. It amazes me that the most poor people with the least access to supplies made some of the most stunning works of art I have EVER seen. My favorite Museum, the DeYoung in San Francisco (look up their current exhibitions of florists making floral tributes to paintings on Bouquets to Art 2024 De Young Museum) is full of quilts and often has special exhibitions. I cannot imagine being able to do these. The craft program on our Public TV station has amazing programs about them. Ken Burns Collects American quilts. I would love to make them. Or to play piano. Or or or or . Next life. Just around the corner, don't you know!
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Where I am, quilting is a Very Big Thing. They put quilts on beds, hang them on walls, put them in the cupboard to wait 20 years to be a new baby’s eventual wedding present. There are competitions in the local Show, annual exhibitions, shops that sell ‘fat quarters’. You name it, it’s here.

As far as I am concerned, it’s about cutting perfecting good fabric into small pieces and then stitching it back together. For pity’s sake!
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