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Wonderful advice Golden and Alva. Hoping to implement those words into my consciousness every day.
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@ Alva. That's the thing - live more in the moment and the thankful. Today, right now, I don't have pain, I have a home, food to eat, a great companion, enough money, the sun is shining...We rob ourselves of today by living in the past or the future. We can't change the past,though we can learn from it, and we don't know the future, though we can make some intelligent predictions and plans e.g. If I spend too much today, I may not have what I need tomorrow, so I won't make as many frivolous purchases. Everyone needs a little "frivel", but nor too much.

One day after my youngest son had died and the funeral and paperwork was dealt with, I sat alone in a house that felt very empty. But really the hole was in my life, my heart, and I knew it would never be filled again,

So what now?

I saw the kitchen floor needed sweeping so I got the broom and swept it, and life went on. There were times when I lived from moment to moment like that. Those times became less and less. I learned to live around the hole in my heart.

My dd is being treated for stage 2b breast cancer. Though she is doing well, we both have acknowledged that it could come back.

But we don't dwell on it.

Today, as she is fine, life is too precious to spoiled by worrying about the future. It took some work and faith to get to this mindset, but it is well worth working on. Otherwise you lose today in the negatives of the past and the worries of the future.

R has prostate cancer and after cryosurgery it returned so he is on therapy to slow the growth. We both know that this treatment may not work, though the odds, as with my dd, as good.

But we don't dwell on it.

We live today making good plans for the future - to do things we want to do. Life is going on. In the back of our minds is the awareness that things may not work out as we would like. We are realists, but that awareness does not rule our days,.

Matthew 6:34 is “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

John 16:33 33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

I used to worry about my health, getting cancer, heart attack and so on. One day I realised i had spent too much time and energy on the worry, which accomplished nothing good, and spoiled the day, so I did the sensible thing and, for the most part, stopped worrying. I recommend breaking that worry habit.
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Llama, THANKS for your update. Discharge coming! SO GLAD. Pulling for you.
Beatty, I love what you said. Breathe in.
When we get "hit" with this stuff our minds scatter lie so much confetti thrown into the wind. It is so hard to just settle and take a few breathes and tell ourselves "What has to be addressed NOW this second".

My Mom used always to tell me that if I could just settle a bit, most problems would take care of themselves. And at least I would be able to see which ones needed my attention when the dusk settled a bit. She was a truly wise woman. How did she give birth to a kid whose mind always exploded in colorful flotsam and jetsam at any disruption. For 82 years I have put myself through so much more than I had to!
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@Beatty - nice. Thank you.
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Riverdale, this must be terrifying for both of you.

Breathe.

Safe travels; good thoughts and prayers are coming your way!
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Wake up.
Breathe in.
Look up.
Find something just a little out of view to strive towards.
Set your course.

Llama & River especially, but anyone else on a challenging path today. ❤️❤️❤️
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So good to hear from you, Llama. I have been wondering how you are. You must be making progress to be discharged on the 12th. I'm sure you will be happy to get home. Hope hubby is managing OK. Keep us updated.
((((Hugs)))) and prayers for a great recovery!
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Llama, 🦙️🦙️🦙️
We will all be glad when you get out!
You worked hard to get your graduation date on 9/12, looking forward to you feeling better and doing better.
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Update: I have been in a rehabilitation center, aka, SNF since 8/23 where I have been getting PT, OT and swallowing tests. I have a discharge date of 9/12.
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Try, Riverdale, to take it a day at a time. As I said the first year after diagnosis is pretty crazy - making and you and your daughter will BOTH be doing some odd stuff. I played Solitaire and would tell myself however many cards I got up would be the number of years I could live. When I got none up I would say "This is just a freaking silly game" and when I got up 53 I would say "I can't live THAT long even without the danged cancer". When I got up five I would say "Yeah. Five. Sounds good. Will take that". Every time I got a twinge in head I would think "Yup. It's in the brain". Or in the knee would think "Yup, in my bones". At one year they "thought they saw something on chest xray and made me have a scan and then said "We didn't see anything". I was furious. I felt like a rape victim. I had had myself dead and buried in a week. And so it goes. Just a nutty year full of questions. And you are always in the "waiting" room waiting for surgery or for test results or for chemo. Waiting room is the worst room in the house.
How I treasured those who made me laugh, even when the humor was PERVERSE. I watched Moonstruck so many time I think I know the script to this day.
There are lessons in all this. There are ways you will learn you deserve GOOD and you will GRAB it.
You will get through. Let your mind go wherever it wants. Trust me, if you died of negativity I would have been gone 82 years ago. Don't let anyone further victimize her by demanding she have a "good attitude". Bad attitudes don't kill.
Thinking of you on this journey. Glad she has you. Hope she will include the little ones in a healthy way. Remember, they won't fear so much her dying as they will want to know WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF US IF ANYTHING HAPPENS. Reassure them that there will always be a TON of people taking care of them with a ton of love.
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Thank you for the good wishes and tales of experiences. I appreciate it very much. At times like this I gravitate to going into hibernation. I know I will be better when we travel to Texas next month to help out after the surgery.

Her in law family is huge and they mostly reside there. Her mother in law has been in treatment for cancer for 9 months now. I know they will provide help . I just have to not go to the place in my head where if it got worse how would I see those 3 grandchildren. I am just still trying to absorb the shock of the news. She has met with 2 different surgical practices as well as an oncologist so I believe this will be best as they are all in agreement as to how to proceed.

Again thank you for your very kind wishes.
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So sorry River, this has to be so hard for your family, Alvas right! In a year from now 🙏💓
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Riverdale:
My first very aggressive cancer hit me at age 47. I had mastectomy and adjuvant chemo for 6 months. The cancer at the time had already spread to my lymph nodes (in fact how it was FOUND) and was in two nodes. I did not have any problems after that for THIRTY SIX YEARS. I have had now another cancer in the other breast at age 81, last Feb. I have chosen now at this old age to treat conservatively with removal of the lump and watching the breast, no chemo and no radiation. Just had my 6 month followup. All looks great so far.

You lovely daughter can do this. It is much more terrifying when you have youngsters, for all involved. It's gonna be one crazy year but it will pass. I send you and her the very best of wishes and goodluck.
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River - so sorry. A couple of years ago my dd had a lumpectomy (as advised by her surgeon), radiation and chemo. In fact, she is still on the last of the chemo. I am glad your dd is stage 0. It sounds like precancer. I have had a couple of friends who had the same and a mastectomy and never had any further problems. My dd was 2b which is not the worst but not the best. She has been clear since treatment and we pray that continues.

Prayers for you all. It's a very difficult time for a family. My heart goes out to you. Try to keep up a normal routine. It is best for you keep somewhat active and live as normal as you can. From what I have read the prognosis for stage 0 is excellent. ((((hugs)))) and prayers
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Riverdale, I am believing with your family that she is going to come through all of this well.

I will keep her and your entire family in my prayers.
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Hit button too soon. It is stage zero but there is concern it could grow. The alternative would be a lumpectomy and radiation which she does not want.

She has 3 children (11,9 and 2 year old). It is often said that one would prefer to have an affliction on themselves rather than our children.

Just have to find courage to get myself together every day and not spend the day in bed.
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Our family just found out that my 43 year old daughter has to have a mastectomy since in the milk duct of the breast there is a 9cm something. I can't think of thd term. The alter
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Golden,
Great news!
As my realtor said few months ago once it is signed it is pretty much done deal!
Don’t worry about house inspection.
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Golden, sounds like things are moving along. That’s great.
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The document is signed. The house inspection is September 19th so that is the next hurdle.

If it goes well the possession date is Oct 7th. I so appreciate prayers for all to work out smoothly.

I know God has a plan - I hope this is it! lol 😊

It is such a blessing that they will take the furniture. I have offered to my cleaner, who has done other jobs for me for nothing, to take anything she wants. She already has a white wicker chair and stool, and wants the carved wooden chest my mother brought up from Haiti. She is more than welcome to it. She has been so good to me. I have to do something to thank the lady next door for looking after my plants so well. The white violet, white anthurium and pink anthurium and blooming nicely and the ivy and others are thriving. She has been very good to me too. So grateful for kind, helpful people.
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That is great news Golden!
It will go well.
Selling, giving away furniture was the worse!
So great they take your furniture.
Hope all goes well.
Once people give good deposit, there is very little chance of sale not happening.
Keep us updated.
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I truly hope this deal works out for you Golden. Fingers crossed!
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Thanks for prayers. My real estate agent countered with a slightly higher figure and they accepted. It will pay for some of the costs of selling. Please keep up the prayers that all the paperwork etc will go smoothly. I am starting to feel relieved but don't dare till all the paperwork is signed. Deep breaths - relax!!!! This has been a much longer journey than I figured it would be.
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Prayers sent that it all goes well and you are done before winter. Such good news that the offer is something you will consider.
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Golden- that's awesome! The new buyers taking the furniture makes things so much easier
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On another topic, and very much on my mind, I got a lowball offer on the house, which very quickly got raised to something I will consider - and - they will happily take all the furniture, which I was giving away on a Fort Mc site with lots of takers. This would be a blessing for me,

We were planning to go up about Sept 15 to get rid of the furniture and take the plants and pics. They want possession Oct 15. It would be great to not have to deal with the furniture and have the house sold before the winter.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated. 😊
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Golden thanks, I'm doing awesome actually. Not everything is on my shoulders anymore.

And I'm able to spend sometime with mom, do somethings for her but have a life, at the same time!

What ever happens is going to happen!
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nacy - you can only do so much. It's your mum's choice too. I took on being POA to protect my mum from my sister. I refused to do a joint POA with my sister - it was either me alone or not me at all. Anyway "Let go and let God" helps very much with dysfunctional families.
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Golden, this is the brother that is doing much more for mom , and why I was doing so much for her, to keep him from doing so much.

I know of 2 falls , she had that he covered up for her. Due to back sudden pain, and bruises.

But , " let go let God" I'm over all that.
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Cwillie, Im sure if anti vaxer get bit by an animal with rabies , they will be begging for those rabies shots!
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