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I'm that only child with siblings from a few months back....So the holidays are over and things are beginning to progress with cleaning out and packing up my mom's house to get it ready to sell as soon as her living quarters in my home are ready for her to move in. So her other 2 children now decided we need to talk bc after all I'm not the only chid and I shouldn't be making all the decisions. After 7 years of taking care of everything my mom needs and more recently this past year hiring her in home aid and all that goes with that. All the legwork and the research and the paperwork to get to figure out what to do is all behind me. I did this all by myself without their support or help. Whenever I asked for help they would complain to my mom saying I'm bossy. I guess I'm just looking for support from the group because I no longer wish to engage in any way with either of these loosers. They haven't seen my mother since early Nov. No holiday visits they were too busy. I did that too again this year even changed my plans to accomodate her so she had a place to go. They left me when I needed them the most and now I no longer need them I've found my own way. I guess I'm that kind of only child the one who does it all and not the only child who had my mom sign a 20 thousand dollar college loan for their kid without telling her other children. This came out when I had her apply for an equity loan to keep her afloat until we sell the house. Not sure if my other posts are still up but this is and update on things. I'm my mom's POA and health conservator and we had all the legal documents drawn up for the care giver and for her living in my home. I'm not looking for advice just want to be validated for not giving in to talk to them now.

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I'm guessing your sibs are worried about you taking the inheritance as the major "family" asset will be sold. They may be worried it will all be going to you.
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You can't force people to participate in caregiving, as you've found out. If your mom was willing and cognitively able to sign for that loan, that's her business and you must live with it. If she wasn't in control of her faculties when she signed it then you may have a legal case against that sibling and you should pursue that.

The hard truth is that your siblings are not morally or ethically obligated to participate in her care or meet any of your expectations of visiting her, when and how often. Cultivating "bad blood" won't be in your mom's best interests, as she probably would like to be able to have her other children visit her once she's in your home.
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No they aren't but someone has to do it and so that's left up to me. I'm going to let them hang waiting for me to have a family meeting. 🙂
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Nothing is going to me she needs her money to pay 2100 a week for her 24 hour caregiver and yes that's in my home when she moves here. I guess it's ok to do nothing leave it to someone else then follow the money🤷‍♀️
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One outside caregiver at 24/7 would functionally be a homeless person without said job. So if s/he doesn't leave should mom pass or very likely need a greater amount of care, now you have potentially a homeless person who will try every gambit in the book to stay in your house. You need at least two people.


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I think I get it, Jan. Your siblings sound similar to my own, with one bro asking for "family meetings" all the time. Family had no idea how much I was doing but they wanted their say-so before anything was done. Can't have it both ways. Feel free to get in the trenches and work, then you have a say.

So just keep doing what you're doing. But I feel sad if this is driving a wedge between you and family. Maybe you can text/email updates so they feel more in the loop. Or would that just make things worse?
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