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I have helped with MIL for years, I never really had time for myself. In the summer, I had a few plants and flowers in pots.


I like to walk but it is difficult in the winter. A friend suggested volunteering but I need a break and need to focus on myself.


Are there any suggestions on hobbies?

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MILHell, for me I wanted to know more about my parents' cousins, their grandparents, etc.. so I dove into Ancestry.com and started building family trees. I found it so fascinating.

I also found old newspaper clippings that were interesting to read due to the way reporters wrote back then. Such as, women were only identified by their husband's names. So different from today's reporting.

The family tree filled a lot of time, 4 years, but well worth it. I had found around 4,000 people on my father's side, but that included numerous generations where it wasn't unusual for a family living in a farming community to have between 12-20 children, and those children to have between 6-12 children. If one moved to the big city, it was usually 0-4 children. As one branches out more and more people.

Found a couple of outlaws in the family for cattle rustling, and bootlegging :)

Then I started working on family trees for relatives, and giving the information as gifts. One person who married into the family, I got back to the 1400's in England. The U.K. had excellent record keeping. Other old countries did not.
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I, too, have gotten deep into Ancestry, and now, a year after my mom's death and finally receiving some money, my husband and I have bought a house and for once I'm redoing the way I want. After 30 years of being transferred back and forth by my husband's company and never having a say in what house we lived in (my job was to clean out and sell the old house), I FINALLY have the house I intend to die in.

As for volunteering, I get that you need time for myself. My husband suggested I start doing Meals on Wheels since "you've got so much experience with old people." Yeah, no thanks. I'd like to do something that doesn't involve dealing with old people for a while.

However, if you're a reader, volunteering at your local library (eventually) is a great thing to do. You find out about all the latest books first, and it's just fun to interact with people who also love to read. Not every volunteer job has to involve helping the downtrodden, so if you're inclined to get out and interact with others, consider being a docent at the local museum or volunteering at your library.
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MILHell, I am relieved for you that your MIL passed and you no longer have the burden.

I read your replies in your other post about your husband not dealing with the situation well and that he wanted to be alone. How is your husband? How is your marital relationship? Perhaps, you both can work on healing and improving your marriage. Doing things together, going out to dinner, taking mini vacations, etc.

After a good break, you can look for a job if you want to work, or take a class for fun, or volunteer if you want.

The next chapter of your life is full of potential. I'm paraphrasing a quote from a therapist, what are you going to do between now and the day you die? Make it count.
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Thank you PolarBear. My husband agreed to go to a counselor. Before he went to lay down, he mentioned it again but asked if we could skip the first appointment scheduled for Tuesday. I just said of course.

MJ, my friend also suggested volunteering at a elderly facility. I said hell no, I can not do it.

Ancestry may be fun.

I love wedding cake and would like to learn how to make and decorate them.
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There are so many hobbies you can do. I have a few lifelong ones. I love to cross-stitch. My main hobby has been pen palling. Started when I was 13, so over 40 years. I have a few people I have been writing to for over 30 years. I would be lost without my letters.
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I changed career paths completely, now working part time in a different field than ever before. Part time hours for a kind boss who is understanding anytime I need flexibility. I’ve had to learn a lot, which has actually been good for me, a confidence builder. Don’t rule out something entirely new and outside your comfort zone, it can boost your confidence in unexpected and rewarding ways
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I will add to MJ1929's recommendation for library volunteering. I do brief 1-2 hour shifts once a week restocking books for the friends of the library lobby or shop sales.

If you don't want commit to a regular schedule, many have monthly, quarterly, or annual sales and need help with setup, sales, and takedown.
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