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My parents are in their home and have aide help several hours a day. It’s way past time for my mom to move to either assisted living or memory care. My dad is doing great and is independent. He agrees that she needs to move, but he will not go since he’s fine. My mom doesn’t want to move without him. She needs help. I welcome your ideas on how to maneuver this and get her to move.

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best scenario she falls goes to the ER they Place her into assisted living .
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Who has the DPOA? That is the key person to handle this.
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It's for her own good - you need to tell mom that and be firm. With her issues, especially dementia (you say she needs memory care), she is no longer able to make decisions for herself. Her brain isn't capable.

What mom wants is no longer paramount. It's more important that she be safe and cared for by professionals.

Her family could have a meeting and tell her - not ask her - that's she's going to a place where she'll get the best care. You could get her doctors onboard to tell her she needs that kind of care. As you've learned, there's no point in reasoning with her. Her broken brain can't do that anymore.

Good luck in finding a great place for her to live.
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Are you her POA?

Has your father spoken with her about moving into an assisted living facility?

It’s incredibly frustrating for everyone involved to know that a family member needs more support and they don’t want to go.

Have you taken mom on any tours of facilities, so she can know what to expect? Fear of the unknown can be terribly upsetting for someone.

Has your dad reassured her that he will visit her as often as he can?

Wishing you and your family all the best.
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