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My dad lives in an AL facility and has for 3 years. Due to Covid, the facility was delivering meals to the residents. Now the restrictions are lifted, they want the residents to eat in the dining area. However, my dad is now under hospice care. He has dementia, heart failure, diabetes, and his colon cancer came back (his doctor gave him 6-9 months to live 2 months ago). Because of the colon cancer, he has "accidents". He has 24/7 caregivers from another service to help him with things like oxygen, cleaning up after "exploding", etc. Now the AL facility says he has to come to the dining area for his meals or have his caregiver pick up his meals for him which is a problem because he panics when he's alone. He is also a fall risk especially when he has to "run" to the bathroom (he's still mobile). AL says they will deliver his meals for a $10 a day charge. He pays over $4k for rent and over $20k for the caregivers a month. I talked to the Executive Director and she said if he has a note from the doctor they will deliver his meals....she quit last Friday. The Director of Resident care tells me he does not have a valid medical reason - even with the note. That it's only if they have a cold or flu, then they won't charge the $10/day. Is there anything I can do? There should be an exception but she is impossible to deal with....staff members have recently quit because of her.

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Is it possible for him to be on the phone with the caregiver while she/he goes to pick up the meal? He would be in constant contact with the caregiver and that might ease his anxiety a bit.
If he naps at all and the caregiver can pick up several meals at one time. The one that comes in in the AM to take over for the overnight could pick up breakfast. If dad naps mid day the caregiver might be able to pick up lunch and dinner. If each shift of caregivers picks up a meal on their way to dads room that might work.
I would also talk to the Hospice Social Worker and see if the Social Worker can "broker" an arrangement that would negate the $10.00 a day charge. If they can make an exception for other medical reasons you would think that being on Hospice would be a pretty darned good one!
I do hope one of these works out for you/him
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JustDucky00 Oct 2021
One of the caregivers went to get his supper when he was napping. She had to wait over 20 minutes! In the mean time my dad woke up and was in an absolute panic because no one was with him. Phone call won't work either....his dementia is to advanced for that. I will talk to the Hospice Social Worker though....thank you!
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Talk to the head administrator of the place. (Higher than the person you've spoken to?)

That's ridiculous.
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JustDucky00 Oct 2021
I really don't know who to contact. I tried to call the "temporary" Executive Director but she didn't answer her phone and her voice mail isn't set up yet. I tried the corporate office but it's an automated "complaint" department. I called and emailed the Dept. of Aging so hopefully I'll hear back from them. I am at my wit's end as this isn't the only issue I'm dealing with from this facility. They forget his meds or deliver them late at night when he's in bed. I can only imagine what's going on with the residents that don't have 24 hour care or family to watch over them! Makes me sick!
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Exceptions should be made for residents who are on hospice care. The DOR is being particularly snarky with this matter because she can, I guess. It's no wonder employees are quitting left & right! I don't think there's anything you can do, technically, since it's up to the AL about what extra services they can charge for. What if you were to appeal to her personally, if you haven't done so already? Tell her that dad is having anxiety attacks when he's left alone, and that it's taking 20 minutes for his meal to be ready; is there a way to have a pre determined time for his meals to be ready for pick up every day? If not, and there's no new Exec Director you can appeal to for this absurd decision to be overridden, I think I'd go ahead and pay the extra $10 a day just not to have your father suffer during his end of life experience. Shame on this DOR for her terrible insensitivity to the situation; she has no business being in the position she's in and should be fired.

As a side note, is this a corporate owned facility by chance? If so, I'd contact whoever runs or owns the ENTIRE corporation and file a complaint with them, using the DOR's name specifically. When I worked for a Memory Care, it was owned by Anthem and we had access to their corporate headquarters phone numbers; see if the receptionist at your dad's AL can give you that info.

I'm sorry for all you're going through, and for the added stress you're having to deal with. Sending you a hug.
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JustDucky00 Oct 2021
They are exploiting my dad. I tried to appeal to the Director of Residential Care but she is completely unsympathetic and just downright mean! She tried to put my dad on LOC 1 even though he has 24 hour care!! She reversed it after a very frank discussion I had with her.

I called the corporate office but it's all automated. Hoping the Department of Aging can help?!

Thanks for your response!
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Update: I spoke with the Regional Director and he assured me my dad will have his meals delivered without being charged. However, a new management company is taking over and a new Regional Director, Executive Director, etc will be taking over. Here we go again....
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MJ1929 Nov 2021
Glad it worked out. It's absurd to assume someone in Dad's condition could be required to come to the dining room. It's called ASSISTED living for a reason.
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How long would it actually take the caregiver to collect his meals from the dining area?
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JustDucky00 Oct 2021
I guess it depends. The first time was over 20 minutes, he was sleeping when the caregiver left but woke up before she returned and was in an absolute panic. I was told today the facility will serve everyone in the dining room before they will have his meal ready for him.
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Sadly that sounds fair. The reasoning may be if they can make an exception for him, they can make an exception for everyone else.
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MJ1929 Nov 2021
Nonsense. The man's dying. It's very common in nursing homes, and they make exceptions for all kinds of circumstances. This would be one of them anywhere else.
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