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Can I walk away? With covid and lack of funds it seems difficult where I am.


Combination of paranoid delusions (especially since riots), lying, possible or faked or intentional cold turkey every month lately when she says she runs out of Percocet, a few days ago apparently taken a kitchen knife and lied about it, then tried to order me around like her slave.


Just 2 days ago I was caring for her through the so called cold turkey and besties. I've done all I can to keep her safe fron covid. It's a constant drama. I'm starting to look for my own apartment.


Covid lockdown and we don't have a car. I lost mine in accident in 2008. I need to focus on me and get a job.


I am only child. She is widow. If I can for the first time in my life have a new life on my own she is somewhat disabled, alone, and can't afford her apartment.


Dont know where to begin. I can't even afford rent.

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Yes, what's going on in your life is not easy, and you're not alone. You don't give your ages or home state so it's hard to know if Medicaid can be recommended for your mom. I would start by calling APS (adult protective services) the next time your mother threatens you. She can be removed from your home. When she is stabilized and you are called to come get her, adamantly refuse to take her back, saying (these exact words) that it would be an "unsafe discharge". They will be very persistent and aggressive in trying to get her back into your home but keep saying unsafe discharge and make sure any other friends or relatives are told to NOT go get her and bring her back. Then, the county will place her in a facility and will pursue guardianship of her and take over all her care and financial assets. You won't be responsible anymore. This is called an ER dump.

As for yourself, I would call or go online to your county's Dept of Health and Human Services to see what benefits you may qualify for (like section 8 housing, food stamps, job training, etc). May I point out that you could put in an application at caregiver agencies and probably get hired because that's sort of what you've been doing up till now. They are always looking for people. I wish you all the best as you recover your life!
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Jean1808 Jul 2020
She was raging this morning and disruption exhausts me for the day. It's incredible the damage these people do. But ... I have moved forward into so.e constructive searching. Thank you so much. Will re read your comment
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i am on Medicaid. It is mom's apartment. Technically I'm the one who needs to leave I think as I don't think im mentioned in the lease anywhere.
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Then reverse the order of Geaton's suggestions; try for Section 8, food stamps, job training, for you and move out. If mom really can't be alone, call APS then. God bless!
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Jean1808 Jul 2020
Sounds smart. I have begun to reach out but have not spoken to my case manager. Usually they don't give help re housing but I must ask. Thank you!!
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Contact your Medicaid case manager to begin the process of applying for Section 8. You probably get food stamps already. Agree with others in that you can have access to job training etc with Medicaid to assist you to get employment so you can pay into SS for when you hit the eligible age.

Your mother will need to be placed in a SNF eventually but she doesn’t sound as acute yet, but that will change.

You need a Plan B for when mom has to vacate so apply for Section 8 Housing now as with C19 everything is taking longer anyway. It can be done via the internet.

Time to think of yourself. Not having a car can be overcome by Uber if no other choices/options as you’ll have to go for interviews.

Brush up on your Microsoft Office skills. If you don’t have any of this experience teach yourself to use it. This takes time (again) but you can pursue this while waiting for “The Event” that will require your mother to enter long term care.
Get a resume written.

Prepare yourself now because that day is coming. If you aren’t on the lease you will be out of luck with no where to go. There is probably someone on the waiting list for your mom’s apartment (if she is in any type of taxpayer subsidized housing) as we speak. The rental company will follow the state rules for Subsidized housing and you won’t be able to jump the line.
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Jean1808 Jul 2020
It is not subsidized housing. She cannot afford the apartment on her own. It is market rent control. The landlord would love for us to be out. She is aware of the no eviction during covid but she may not be realizing she will owe the rent later. She could find someone else to live with het and help out as I do, even better.
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