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Dear whalewomanfl,

Sorry to hear your dad is depressed about being in assisted living and is trying to self medicate. I know its not easy. No one likes change.

Can the Assisted Living staff help your dad with counseling? family therapist? social worker? or joining a support group?

My dad was also very stubborn. He lived at home till he passed at the hospital. Sometimes I tried and tried and there was nothing I could do to change his mind. I do regret not doing more still. It something that weighs on me.

Please try and see what resources might help your dad cope with this new stage of his life.
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whalewomanfl, could you define what you mean by "self-medicate"?

Usually in Assisted Living, all prescription medicines for a resident is locked in the nurses office, and only the Med Tech can give the resident their medicine. I know my Dad couldn't even have an aspirin bottle in his room, that is how strict the facility was, and for good reason.
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My father in law is in assisted living and has asked his sons to buy him over the counter meds or ointment occasionally. I guess he puts the meds in his drawer.
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Here in NY, all medications, including over the counter stuff has to go to the nurses' office. The problem is that during flu season, residents were sharing meds and there were some bad reactions from that. Some Rx medicines interact badly with OTC meds and supplements.
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What is he trying to treat, and what is he using?
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"Self medicating" often refers to alcohol or street drugs. It would be helpful to have Countrymouse's questions answered. Why is he trying to treat, and what is he using?
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Weeell it all depends. I don't live in assisted living but I do have some medications that I can choose to take or not.
Often people who live in supervised situations will ask family members to secretly purchase OTC medications that they probably should not be using. These are often things like laxatives which everyone knows that overuse will have disastrous results.
However people in assisted living may still be relatively competent and resent having their usual habits curtailed.
The most dangerous action is taking OTC meds that interact with prescribed meds, for example using aspirin with blood thinners.
Without knowing just what Grandpa is doing it is not possible to give positive advice and decide whether to turn a blind eye or come down like a ton of bricks
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