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Today my mom’s caregiver texted me asking how I was doing. I responded, I’m doing great, how are you? She says she’s doing great. I then texted I’m sure you’re taking very good care of my mother. She responded, me and my sister are with her all the time. I never asked how my mother was doing or if she asked about me. She never said anything about how my mother was doing or feeling or asking about me either. That was the end of the conversation. FYI I’ve moved on with my life from my mom. Zero contact. Unfortunately I have dreams/nightmares about her almost every single night. Ugh
Did I handle my situation appropriately?

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Just one question. If you’re truly zero contact why does this cg still have your number?
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I recognize your name but I don’t remember the details of your story.

Sorry about your nightmares. Glad to hear that you have moved on from caregiving.

Sounds like your mom is being cared for by others and that you no longer wish to be involved in her care.

Do you have any idea why the caregiver was contacting you? If you don’t want to hear from her, tell her not to call you.

Is your mom’s caregiver a busybody type who would like to see you reconnect with your mom?
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Do you realize that "How are you doing" is a scammer tactic. It may not have even been ur Moms caretaker. Could have been someone who was able to "spoof" the caregivers number. It happens all the time. By u saying "I am sure your taking good care of my mother" you gave them info. Probably realized u could not be scammed.
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Twinkle, you handled it as you chose to handle it.
I think it is sad that you have not found some way to keep minimal contact, forgive your Mom for her limitations, and still get on with your life, but if that isn't possible for you then you are the one to know it and choose your best path.

There's no real good answer here, nothing to fix the fact that Mom's limitations caused so much grief for you.
I honestly cannot know the motivations of the caregiver.
Perhaps she was testing the waters to see if she cannot talk to you without dissention. She may call you again, if your mother is asking for you.
If you choose to see her, just wish her the best, leave when things aren't good.

It's in your hands how you handle this. Others can't decide what's best for you.
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I'm sure moms CG has your number in case of an emergency. If this was a scammer, she wouldn't have known to say "me and my sister are with her all the time", that's insider info.

She could have been fishing.....mom could have asked her to text you, who knows?

Going no contact with a mother is never something a daughter chooses to do....its something that's necessary due to ongoing dissent and toxic behaviors. I'm sure you're not jumping for joy over this, so you're having bad dreams, even though you're doing what's in your best interest. Sometimes our subconscious mind is better able to work things out thru dreams than while awake. If this goes on too long, maybe ask your PCP for some Ambien for awhile, as I did in 2000 when ptsd was preventing me from sleeping. Ambien knocks you out cold and to the best of my recollection, there were no dreams. It's a relief when stress is at play.

Best of luck to you,.
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I have a question— did this person reach out on Messenger? If so, it sounds like a scammer who hacked the caregiver’s Facebook account. They may be impersonating the caregiver. If they keep messaging, ask questions without divulging any more information. You’ll know right away. Once, in a similar situation, I asked if they really were so-and-so…? I said I was concerned they might be a scammer. They quickly stopped texting.
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