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There is no money to pay someone like a sitter to come in, but my parents require someone to be with them for meal prep, housekeeping, personal assistance, etc. My dad is on hospice and doesn't have long to live, so it's mainly someone to help with my mother.


My brother currently lives with them, but is USELESS; in addition to not helping monetarily, he's becoming verbally abusive. I'm trying to work full time and be there as much as possible too, but can't be there all the time. I don't want to have to quit my job--read, can't afford to quit--but if I can't find someone decent I may have no choice. If there was some money to help pay for someone, I would have no dilemma, and if ifs and buts were candy and nuts....


Any ideas anyone could offer are greatly appreciated.

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In these economic times, I don't think you will find such a person and if they were not from a certified company, how would you be able to trust them? Meal on wheels could bring them some food each day for free if they qualify. There might be some churches with people who are willing to come by often. How bad is your mother's health? If you quit your job, then where is any money going to come from for all of you to live? Does your brother have a job? Are your parents having to live off of social security alone or do they have some retirement income? My step-dad has a helper who lives rent free at the house so that someone can keep an eye on him and she takes care of him for most of the day. However, she is still paid for his care.
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I had the same thought about a stranger, believe me, but I'm having to examine all options.

My brother is on disability; he does not and will not contribute to the household. He is becoming more and more verbally abusive, and has mental issues on top of physical ones. (His physical ones seem to magically disappear when his friends call, then reappear if my parents ask him to help them with something--know what I mean?) I have been trying to get him out of the house for months, but my mother has always intervened when it came down to the wire; "He's my son, I can't stand the thought of him not having somewhere to live", etc. He's a grown man and has made his choices, and right now I could care less what happens to him; this situation has to take priority.

My parents' only source of income is their social security checks.

My mother's health is poor. She has a colostomy, is a diabetic, has every lung condition known to man, and is starting to have anxiety/depression issues. She is selfish, narcissistic, and is a general pain in my a**. She has put herself where she is now--very weak, basically unable to walk because that's what happens when you WON'T get up and try to walk, in a hospital bed in the living room with a potty chair beside her because somewhere along the line someone must have told her "if you are sick, you get attention". If that sounds bitter, I do not apologize--she's brought her health problems on herself,and now I'm left dealing with the fallout.

My dad is dying of lung cancer and the resulting complications. He does not have long to live, but could not be easier to care for. He does not complain.

I apologize for venting while supplying additional information; I just don't know which end is up right now.
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