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My 85 year old Granny has been in hospice care since May 2018 after she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She pretty much doesn't eat anything and is down to 69 pounds, she may eat a couple of junior mints or some candy, but she won't eat any food. She just asked me yesterday for beer, do you think the hospice nurses will allow her to have beer? My concern is the alcohol interacting with her medications, but the beer would provide her with needed calories.


Has anyone else experienced this? Did you get the their requested beer/alcohol?

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I would give her a beer, what is the worst that could happen? It's happening now anyway.

Im sorry that you and your family are having to watch your g'ma waste away.

May God grant you peace on this journey.

Hugs!
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I agree with Isthisrealyreal, and it sounds as though she is at the point where she won't take more than a few sips anyway.
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I would ask the hospice nurse. If she is on morphine for pain it probably isn't a good idea, but you may be able to hold the morphine dose so she can enjoy a beer. If she wants it, she should be able to have it now and then, and if you work with the hospice nurse, I'm sure something can be arranged.
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We were told the patient could have anything she wanted to eat or drink. I agree with the advice to ask a nurse but small beer shouldn't hurt anything.
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k12144 Sep 2018
We were told the same... though she kept getting the same boring gluten-free, sometimes-low-sodium food! I would have gone out and gotten her anything she wanted had she asked, though.
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Maybe try "near-beer" if alcohol might be a problem. Don't let her know it is alcohol free--if possible.
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I had a friend who brought his FIL a non-alcoholic beer every weekend. His tastebuds probably weren’t as sharp as they used to be as he enjoyed it and looked forward to it. Without any alcohol there was no effect on meds. Just flavor and some calories.
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I cannot think of any reason to refuse your grandmother anything (legal) that pleases her heart. If she fancies a beer, then let her have it. If she fancies a couple, come to that. These are the last days of her life. She is not expected to recover. Whatever contributes to her own sense of wellbeing must be accommodated as far as possible.

I don't suppose the manufacturers of the medications would recommend that they be taken with alcohol, but if there is a serious interaction to worry about - and yes do check because the last thing you want to do is make her feel worse - then I'd query what good the medication is doing and see if you can't change that.

One caution, though. Don't be disappointed if, once you've brought the beer, nicely chilled, opened it with a flourish, and ceremoniously poured it into a slim glass for your grandmother, she doesn't after all drink it, let alone enjoy it. It may just be the idea that she liked and the reality doesn't match her memory of past pleasures. Should that happen, try other little treats - ask around the family about favourite dishes or brands of chocolate they remember.
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My mom was a heavy wine drinker and when she got dimentia we started buying her alcohol free wine and she did not know the difference. Every now and then I would give her the real stuff. I agree, they should do whatever they want at that stage in the game. Whatever makes them happy! If I could go back and do moms end of life hospice care again I would have bought her chinese take out every night, expensive wine and let her stay up all night watching TV:) I wish I had not sweated the small stuff....
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Knowing what Hospice is - I would say to give her what she is asking for.
If the beer doesn't taste as good as Granny remembers, she just won't finish it.

At 69 pounds, I would imagine most, if not all, of her medications should be stopped anyway. She has to be suffering many major side-effects as she hasn't the body weight to support them.
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Countrymouse Sep 2018
That point about dose per body weight is a very important one, and I bet not attended to often enough. Maybe it would be a really good idea for the OP to follow it up and ask for a medication review?
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The Hospice that I volunteer at/for actually has a liquor license just in case someone asks for a beer or other alcoholic beverage.
Ask the nurse that comes to see her. I doubt there will be a problem. My guess is your Grandmother will not finish an entire beer anyway.
And if she is mobile I would not have her walking around after having the beer. I would give it to her while she is eating in her chair or at the table or even in bed.
And a personal note here when my Husband was on Hospice I did give him a beer, he used to home beer, and he had a few sips and pushed the glass towards my sister.
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Yes, usually they can have what they want, They are dying.
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MY MIL was used to her afternoon cocktail and asked about it at every visit. She was on palliative hospice care, so she was only taking comfort medications.
After phoning the hospice nurse and discussing it, we visited MIL with the needed supplies. It was ten in the morning.
MIL asked if she could finally have her drink. Although my wife initially disagreed (it was morning), she relented. I fixed MIL her bourbon and water and it made her very happy. It reminded her of better times with her husband.
For a couple of weeks after that I stopped every afternoon for her cocktail hour. When the staff got used to the idea I started leaving airplane bottles with the proper amount. We asked hospice to add it to the care plan so the staff could assist.
I supplied the airplane bottles, and started watering down the bourbon somewhat. I do not think she ever caught on. It was more the idea of keeping her routine.
I did not do this for my father when he was in hospice, but I probably should have. He talked about it and it would have made him happier. Daily would not have worked for him as he was a fall risk, but periodically could have been arranged. I think he would have been happier as drinking had been a big part of his life. With him I did not really understand that palliative care is for comfort, not healing.
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Try non alcoholic beer if the nurses allow that. It shouldn't affect the meds and she won't know the difference.
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Call Hospice and ask them.
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She can have anything she wants. The only consideration would be if it would cause an uncomfortable side effect when mixed with the palliative medications she's probably receiving. That should be discussed with the hospice staff.
I agree with others that she may just want the taste of beer and probably won't drink much of it.
Ceasing to eat or drink is part of the natural process of dying. She doesn't need calories. It can be the hardest thing to accept for loved ones. It helped me to keep in mind that, when a dying person eats in order to make their family members feel better, it actually makes them feel worse.
It's time for everyone to follow your grandmother's lead. She's in charge for this journey. She's not a 'patient' anymore.
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drooney Sep 2018
My SIL was on Hospice. She asked for "a yard of ale". She was happy to see the tall glass of ale we provided. She just sipped some and said "thank you , so much"! That was it for her, didn't want any more. Think it was just the thought not the actual beverage. Usually she was more of a martini drinker, but never asked for that!. Can't see how any alcohol can be a really big problem for a terminally ill person.
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When my father was at the hospice facility, the family across the hall brought in a pony keg to share with the patient. The nurses may not let her have beer and opioids at the same time, but it's worth asking.
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Oregongirl Sep 2018
Why ask? She is dying. I remember telling the nurse my mom was getting way to high from the drugs. She looked at me square in the eye and said, your mother is dying.
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It would be good to know what the interaction between alcohol and meds might be and then make an informed decision.

The non-alcoholic beer would be a good back up plan.

Anyone on hospice should be given what they want because they have a terminal condition, have stopped treatment for that condition, and the goal of hospice is comfort.

18 months ago I spent 4 months bringing my mom back from death's door. First two months was a downward spiral as I carefully followed medical advice, The change happened when I focused on her favorite foods. I also tried new things based on what she seemed to respond to. A few key things that helped more than others were 1) variety of carbonated flavored water 2) Ginger Ale, 3) Gatorade (one bottle of each favor and then rotate the ones she liked), 4) high protein drinks like Ensure (rotated the favors and would use as milk on cereal once she started eating again), 5) 100% Pure New England Maple Syrup, 6) butter, 7) variety of prepared bagged salads that include the dressing.

It was a educated guessing game. Family members initially thought I was crazy and I didn't care. By the start of the 4th month family was offering suggestions and making special trips to the store. Mom has been back at home for the past 14 months. She had 2 days in the hospital for the flu last New Years and a handful of Dr visits mostly for UTIs. She is 93 and going for 100. As her strength returned, she again insists on sweeping the driveway so we supervise and have learned to be on the down slope side. Family thanked me for thinking outside of the box and being willing to go with my gut despite the mild 'you are crazy' push back they initially offered up.
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off topic but related my grandmother has dementia and always wants mickey d
s. they should get it its a comfort to taste it while they are still here.
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Yes. At this stage of her life, she should have anything she wants.
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My Dad was a diabetic on Hospice. He loved cinnamon sticky buns. I bought him some and he was allowed one a day.
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When my late husband was in hospice, beer was the only think he asked for. He didn't want food, and actually he didn't drink all that much beer--just said he wanted the taste of it and rarely drank more than 1/2 bottle per day.
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Hospice. End of life. Die happy I say!!!
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Give Granny whatever she wants. My friend wanted a steak. I ground up a cooked roast and fed him puree. He Loved it. The flavor was what he missed. Give her the beer. Slowly. I will ask for a Gin and tonic
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ask them for the interactions ..as long as she has no mental problem it is still good to ..maybe she would eat ..
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My dad was on hospice at home. Hospice said to give him anything he asked for. He asked for beer so we gave him beer. Anything that brings comfort is good.
God be with you.
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If Granny has made it this far having a beer now and then, I'd give her two. Please check with her physician first. He/She could even prescribe it. When I worked at the local hospital in  my area there was an older gentleman who was prescribed a shot of whiskey every day. The nurses kept the bottle in the med room and would carry the shot to his room on a little med tray. Why not. I would add some of her favorite music to the party.

Godspeed...………...Granny
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My mom drinks a little wine with dinner. She also likes Saki. But then, she still eats meat and fish and has a good appetite. She doesn't take any medication, whatsoever, except for baby aspirin three times a week.

I would give your grandmother some beer if that's what she wants. She isn't driving or operating any equipment.

I forgot to mention that my mom is 89, is in the end stage of Alzheimer's, no longer walks or talks, except a little gibberish, and sits in a wheel chair. She was kicked off hospice earlier this month because she was stable and not dying any time soon.
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Oregongirl Sep 2018
Are you kidding. Of course she is dying. My dad went thru same thing. They kept his wiskey in frig. He was tied into his wheel chair. They said for his own good. I was in New York he was in CA. He carried me everywhere as a child. I was paralized on my rt side. Then it just went away. But the greatest dad on Earth. When I found out about the wheel chair it was when my sister called me. He wanted to go to bed. They ignored him. He lifted himself and wheel chair into bed. I know figure that one out. Good thing I was not there,. I would have been arrested. What about aids lying on floor. Nope not me...
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Ask the Hospice care team.
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There is an old saying that when someone reaches very old age, that they can start the "proverbial smoking and drinking." However, if she's only consuming candy, drinking beer may not be good for her physical wellness, but great for her emotional well being.
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k12144 Sep 2018
Being terminally-ill isn't good for her physical wellness either... who cares what she eats and drinks at this point?
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Why would hospice have any say so over what a patient drinks or eats? I read their paperwork and I didn't see anything about such restrictions.
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worriedinCali Sep 2018
They don’t have any say in it. If there is concerned interactions over the medications she is on, a pharmacist could be consulted.
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