Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
So, I am a middle-aged 'only child' of a mother, that has advanced Alzheimer's. My step-dad is her caretaker & is not ready to put her in a facility. He is her POA. Anyway, she was recently swiping at the mirror & said, "to get that woman out her house" & fell backwards on the hardwood floor. She now says she doesn't know how to walk. If you try to move her, she yells out, seemingly in pain. (Side note- when my stepdad & I were out of the room, she scooted out to the room we were in with the walker & walked fine & didn't complain or yell). Just the day before the fall, she was very mobile on her own, no walker involved. Anyway, I have asked my stepdad to get her an X-ray, which he stated my mom absolutely refused to do at the Dr.'s office. I have since reached out to all step siblings for advice/help. I have contacted my parents rep at the local Aging society, who was to call me back after making contact with them. Haven't heard back & it's been a week. No one is saying anything. Also, a little background.. My adult children, myself & step- siblings have told my 86 yr old stepdad for about a year that we feel my mom should be in a home for her health & for the level of care she needs, also to lessen his burden. He says he wants her at his side still. He was just in ER with some health issues & if he declines, how is he going to care for her & himself? Any options here? I feel like my hands are tied. Very stressed here. Thank you in advance!!
Sounds like they both need to be in professional care. But you cannot force it. Your options are limited to reporting them to APS or waiting for an event that forces change. Many of us have waited for the event, it always comes, and it’s never fun waiting for it
One thing you can do is check out memory care facilities in the area (assuming you live close by). It's not ideal to have to find a placement on short notice. If you were to narrow it down to the best two or three places it could save your stepfather some effort when the time comes. Because it will come eventually, if she no longer recognizes herself and fights medical treatment.
After my dad was dropped while the medical transport van was bringing him home, that agency sent a mobile X ray unit to the house and took X rays. Maybe you could request that service for your mom.
KatHut, welcome to the forum :) Our parents can be unbelievably stubborn as they advance in age.
Many of us here in the forum had to wait for a medical emergency where 911 was called and the parent hospitalized before we could get the ball rolling for senior living. Sure enough, when my Mom was 98 she had head trauma due to a fall. Both my parents still lived in a house which had a lot of stairs. Mom went from the hospital to rehab.... from rehab into skilled nursing and that is where she remained.
As hard as it is, you will need to sit and wait for that call.
Your stepfather is the POA. I would offer support in looking in on Mom without enabling the poor decision of their not getting care.
To be honest (and perhaps this comes of being now 82 with an 84 y/o partner) your mother chose your stepfather as husband and as POA. Whether in choosing otherwise (let us assume you, yourself) she would now be "safely" "in care" and live a few years longer? Perhaps. But in attempting a guardianship fight with her hubby you would almost certainly: A) lose B) invest money needlessly C) if you won be in for a world of woe with an uncooperative mom and hubby D) add little to your mom's life. Safety issues such as falls, etc. will continue
I cannot see the stress of this being worth it for any reason. I do like that you reached out to step family. I suggest you all work out a check in schedule and keep in touch with one another.
I hope as a new member you will fill in your profile for us, which will help if you plan to stay on the site at all. I certainly do wish you all the best.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Many of us here in the forum had to wait for a medical emergency where 911 was called and the parent hospitalized before we could get the ball rolling for senior living. Sure enough, when my Mom was 98 she had head trauma due to a fall. Both my parents still lived in a house which had a lot of stairs. Mom went from the hospital to rehab.... from rehab into skilled nursing and that is where she remained.
As hard as it is, you will need to sit and wait for that call.
I would offer support in looking in on Mom without enabling the poor decision of their not getting care.
To be honest (and perhaps this comes of being now 82 with an 84 y/o partner) your mother chose your stepfather as husband and as POA. Whether in choosing otherwise (let us assume you, yourself) she would now be "safely" "in care" and live a few years longer? Perhaps. But in attempting a guardianship fight with her hubby you would almost certainly:
A) lose
B) invest money needlessly
C) if you won be in for a world of woe with an uncooperative mom and hubby
D) add little to your mom's life. Safety issues such as falls, etc. will continue
I cannot see the stress of this being worth it for any reason.
I do like that you reached out to step family. I suggest you all work out a check in schedule and keep in touch with one another.
I hope as a new member you will fill in your profile for us, which will help if you plan to stay on the site at all. I certainly do wish you all the best.