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Have you considered finding an activity for her outside your home? Maybe a Senior Center, gardening, volunteer work? It would give both of you a break.
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anonymous871557 Apr 2020
Yes I have for years but unfortunately she refuses to do anything independently , I realize that would help so much though
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I can relate to what you're saying. I have felt that way a lot before too. After a certain point, it's beyond annoying. First, I didn't see any description of a profile about your MIL. Do you know if she has any cognitive decline or dementia? Even if she functions pretty well, I'd keep a close eye on certain things to see if she's having something like that going on. The reason is that some people show signs of dementia in the early stage, in the way you describe her. Repeating things, repeating questions, asking a million questions, etc. My LO did that in the early days and I didn't know why. She did other things too, like make up stuff, argue for no reason, neglect hygiene, etc. If that is the culprit, there really isn't any way to prevent it. It's due to damage to the brain. And, it will progress. Maybe, you could get her to a doctor for an evaluation of physical and mental health.

Then, there are those seniors who do not have dementia, who are very bossy, nosy and chatty. They ask a million questions about stuff that doesn't matter. I think it's boredom, loneliness, and a desire to be important in their senior years. So, I try to tolerate it. I couldn't do that long term though. It's too hard on my mental health. lol Could your MIL go to a senior day program, get involved with a hobby, do extra work, like laundry, organizing, etc. I don't know the answer. It's a tough one. Maybe, set up an oasis in your bedroom with a sign that says, Do Not Disturb. lol I have found that some people just love to talk A LOT. It really annoys me. I don't get it. For me, it takes a lot of energy to talk that much. ON and ON, hour after hour. Asking detailed questions over stuff that no one cares about. So frustrating......I have noticed it a lot in seniors and not just my parents. Does anyone know why they do this? And what about nosy behavior that's off the charts.....omg. Who really cares what the neighbor 2 doors down is wearing or what time they came home for lunch? lol
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anonymous871557 Apr 2020
Yes you really understand what I’m dealing with. I’m not sure if it’s early dementia but I will say I have noticed the neediness getting worse every year.
i want to be empathetic but I feel like every time I give her an inch she takes a mile. I want her to stop seeing me as her entertainment, she’s still fairly young and is choosing to be like this
also giving her something to do usually backfires because she wants an audience and company, so I think that while she does need a purpose what she seems to be needing more is socialization ( but won’t go make friends of her own).
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