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I have been looking for someone to spend a couple of hours with my parents, who live with me, once a week, making puzzles, taking walks, etc. I don't actually need the extra help at present, but my mom has dementia and my dad is nearly 90 and frail, so I anticipate needing help in the future. I've identified a great person and after several trial visits, I'd like to start paying her by the hour. I don't know how much to offer her, however. Right now, she's not a caregiver/housekeeper/anything like that but rather is just spending time with them. Looking for suggestions, thank you.

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Wilmore6, I looked on-line to see what do teen-age babysitters get and the average was $20/hour. Yikes!! Therefore, I think for your friend to watch your parents as a companion, $15-$20/hour would be a good start.
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JoAnn29 Oct 2022
I would never pay $20 for a babysitter. I thought it was awful when they were asking for $10 an hr when that was higher than minimum wage.
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If this person is doing no "hands on care" other than spending time with your parents I would think $15.00 to 20.00 per hour would be in line.
If she starts doing more hands on then $20.00 to 25 per hour and as it becomes more involved then about $25.00 to 30 per hour.
Are there Adult Day programs in your area? If so look into that for your parents. Typically a bus/van will pick up participants and a snack or light breakfast, lunch then a snack will be served during the day and activities for both of them.
If mom or dad is a Veteran often the VA has programs that will pay for a Day program and the VA also has programs that will provide a caregiver.
Contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission and they can determine if they qualify for any services.
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Good idea to get them used to another person in the mix. I'm sure you actually DO need the extra help so it will be good for all of you.

I'd offer her $20 and see how it goes. My mom's caregivers get $25/hour and the ones through an agency charges me $30. Maybe start with 3 hours?

I'd think about making a list of things you would like to be done that can include the things you stated (on my list they're called games and exercise) and then add a few other household things like making their beds and doing laundry. If they do it themselves, she can have them help, etc. Making them a meal and cleaning up from it. Things like that.

Good luck.
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CNA's are getting between 13 and 15 dollars an hour where I live. I pay a guy $15 an hour, two hours a day, three days a week for just setting with my dad in a nursing home and helping with small things like charging his cell phone, making sandwiches, etc.
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$25-30/hour up to a certain level of care if needed. If you really like this person, it is worth being a little generous to keep him or her.
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Minimum $15 an hour. This is very difficult work, and people have no idea until they do it. I hired someone for $17.50 and hour, and am now paying $18.50 an hour.
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I am a Care Manager in CT. I would be concerned about hiring someone (a babysitter) for more than a couple of hours per week. There are liability issues, workers' compensation insurance (state), and taxes. Be aware this can end up being very expensive to save up front. Many do it and get away with it but some are hit very hard.
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My husband has had dementia for seven years. I hire a lady through an agency to come, five days a week, four hours each time. I pay $27 an hour. The caregiver is liscensed, bonded, and insured through the agency. They walk, do puzzles, play games, watch TV together. It gives me a little free time each week.
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I think you have to ask yourself what would it be worth to her to make a commitment to come every week for just a couple of hours. That has to be worth her while. In New Jersey I would offer at least $25.00 per hour and in the first check include payments for the “trial” period.
I
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I’m going to chime in here but be aware that caregiving pay is a sore spot for me.
You say “right now” and that makes me wonder if you’d like to someday start adding on to his/her duties.
Some things to consider… we, as BabyBoomers, are an economic force like nothing that has been seen before. The growth of the caregiving
industry has grown exponentially so there are many shady companies who don’t have your parents best interest in mind. Just keep that in mind.

As for paying some to play games and generally keep your parents occupied, is if that’s light duty for a caregiver is wrong. That is one of the most difficult parts of it and I will assume it’s why you’d like help with it. To start it may only be one or two hours… most agencies have a 4 hour minimum.

if you can find an independent to do this pay him/her at least 30 an hour. Make it worth his/her travel time.

From experience I can tell you that you will ‘go through’ several before you find a good match.
Good luck, love and light
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dawnjohn22 Oct 2022
Thank you so much for pointing out that keeping a Senior occupied with conversation & activities is not an easy task.

I just moved in with a dear friend and I am exhausted after just a couple weeks - he shadows me, constantly repeats himself and talks nonstop. I was fading myself under the pressure. He is a very kind person and of course is in denial of any memory issues etc.,. I am slowly adjusting and utilizing some of the wonderful tips recommended here. Thanks to all of you kind people! Sending Love your way… pass it on!
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My husband is about to go into assisted living. We’ve had two Respite Aides. One was paid for by a grant from the Elizabeth Dole Foundation; I believe she was paid $18/hr. For the past year we’ve had a competent and kind woman who my husband likes and is able to entertain and redirect when necessary. I paid her $20/hr. I’ve used a private duty professional aide for overnight stays and she was $35/hr.

The Dole Foundation has caregiver grants for veterans’ caregivers.
https://www.elizabethdolefoundation.org/hidden-heroes/
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Years ago I started as my friends housekeeper for his elderly parents which I eventually became a live-in caregiving manager overseeing a staff of 5 (6 if you include me) for 24/7 care.

they were ambulatory when I first met them. By the end, she had Lewy- dementia Parkinson’s and he extreme arthritic issues, overweight, and a heart valve issue plus dementia expressed in a different way.

since what you’re needing is just social interaction, no heavy duty caregiving whatsoever, I would keep the pay low to start. You have to give yourself room to grow when the work becomes more cumbersome as this can become an extreme burden on your pocketbook and you’ll need every penny.

when I hired someone, private party, I paid them $12 hours for the first four hours. This was training. To see if they liked it and I liked them. If we both did, Then it was immediately $13 for two weeks. Again a trial. See if we still like each other and could trust each other. Then I would raise it to $14 for one month then $15 an hour and it stayed there. I also eventually paid time and a half for a few major holidays just so that I could get some relief because everybody would like that time off. The incremental paying also helped me keep a caregiver for a while. They had incentive to stay. Caregivers are very flighty and you never know how they’re gonna perform in your house until they’re actually there. It’s not easy finding the one you think is right for you. Oh and you didn’t ask about this I’m sorry but definitely get nanny cams. You would be amazed at how much they help. And tell everybody everything upfront if they’re not willing to live with that than you Have easily eliminated some people didn’t want to hire anyway.

I did have a company I worked with, but very few caregivers were available as I was extremely picky and there was a lot of work to do with this couple. Those people got paid anywhere from $22-$35 an hour. In retrospect, I see that the private caregivers were paid yes considerably less. But they really like the freedom of not working for an agency.
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I have three private sitters for my mother who give me a combined total of 18-20 hours each week to get out and breathe and work a little bit.

Two of them are Physical Therapy Assistants that I pay $20/hour.

The third sitter I pay $17/hour because that is what she quoted to me when she started in 2020.

All in all, it totals out to around $2000/month.

All they have to do when they are with my mom is to literally sit with her in the kitchen and listen to quiet music and offer her water, beverages, snacks, etc., and talk with her as much as possible. They also have to escort her to the bathroom and potentially help her clean herself.

I would recommend that you offer an hourly rate that you feel is fair depending on the level of caregiving that is needed and what you can afford. I turned down a couple of potential sitters because they wanted more per hour than I could reasonably afford.
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Where we live near an urban area on the east coast, for unskilled aides the rate is about $20 to $25 per hour range (including their travel time) if paying directly "off the books" (not through a service). Going through a service may be a bit more, but then you have backup if the aide/companion gets sick, has a flat tire, goes on vaca., etc. For service-provided aides, the service handles things like background checks, tax/Medicare/Social Security withholdings for their employee, etc. For private licensed RNs (if that is needed on occasion), they go for about $150 an hour including their travel time. Depending on one's health insurance; a visiting nurse -- if needed -- may be an option if there are things like "ports" to clean/change, wounds to dress/clean, IV meds to adjust.
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I pay $25 & $30 /hr for help with my 87 year old mother. It took a few people and differs situations to find the right people that you feel comfortable with but are invaluable! The people that say they’d only pay $15 a hour would you work for that? And what is the quality of care and education or experience ? I needed someone who could be my eyes and ears etc when I am not there . Additionally, you can have this person help if you need to go to assisted living most will also go to the assisted living homes as well and can help with the transition. I
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Weather it’s in home care or a handyman you get what you pay for. Pay min wage you get a min wage person. Ask yourself why they are only making min wage. The more you pay the more skilled and professional they are. $20 plus is a good start.
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We went through an agency. $36an hour for companion care. More if the need assistance. So worth it. They do light housekeeping keeping and meal preparation. ( California)
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$20 - $25 AN HOUR
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Care costs are expensive, and most recipients cannot withstand such costs. Why aren't your parents paying for their care by themselves?? This is a consideration when it comes to the spend-down to Medicaid level.
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Becky04469 Oct 2022
Not everyone has to have Medicaid.
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Wilmore6: Before I moved in to take care of my late mother pro bono in MA from out of state, caregivers in her area ran $20 per hour. She could not afford that. She lived on a poverty wage. By the way, YOU do not foot the bill for your parents' care; they do.
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I pay $36 an hour with a four hour daily minimum. Even with this price, they come and go like a merry-go-round. I have to book at least 12 hours a week.
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The rates vary by location, but run between $20 and $40 per hour, with a 4-hour minimum.
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Depends on where you live.
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