Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
My Mom moved onto our property 2 1/2 years ago into a tiny home that we built for her. Recently my 2 sisters came to visit. While they were visiting, my Mom & I got into a disagreement. My sisters suddenly wanted to know all of the details of the past 2 1/2 years between my Mom & I.I blew up!! It turned into a 6 hour heated discussion.Does anyone have any advice on how to handle these situations?I felt disrespected and was not given the benefit of the doubt.Was I wrong, or is it their business?Thanks!MLee123
Nobody should ever agree to a 6 hour heated discussion about anything! When you feel disrespected in your own home, you need to tell your sisters it's time to END the discussion, period. If sissies feel better equipped to deal with mother, then they should scoop her up and take her home with THEM, leaving you in peace. You can rent out the tiny home and make some income while removing yourself from the family drama.
Best of luck setting down some boundaries for YOURSELF moving forward.
MLee123, could you give us more information, such as is your Mom independent and does things on her own? Still drive? Or does she have memory issues? And/or is a fall risk? Without that information it can make it difficult to answer your question. Please help us :)
Sisters aren’t necessarily unreasonable in wanting to know how you and M have been coping, but they ARE unreasonable in getting into a 6 hour argument on your property. I’d suggest that a good way to cope would be to ask them to go away and think about what they want to know, then write to you with their questions. You can then decide what is reasonable to tell them. It’s better if you can stay on good terms.
Hi Lee, welcome to are forum , if you can fill out the profile, it makes it easier for us to answer you questions.
My feeling is if the sisters where that worried about your mom that you have been doing everything you can for 2 + years they should of been helping more, and be much much more understanding of why you may have argued with mom . I'm sure this is very stressful, and they definitely should be helping, and NOT judging you! I bet that they would have some anger issues after 2 years also.
It's tough on family's when they see a decline and they seem to blame the one doing most of the work.
I wish there was more information on family conflicts for aging, this seems to be an epidemic .
Im really sorry, I have no good advice for you. If I did my family wouldn't be such a mess either.
A very different situation than yours, mom doesn't live with me. With that being said, I have learned to let go of things that I disagree with my family on, and learning to just take care of me. I know how much I'm doing, I know I'm doing as much as I can do given my situation, and I know how far and what I'm willing to do in the future. I have let my family know what to expect of me and what not to expect of me, I'm stuck to that and put up my boundaries.
Also I've learned, when my family does something that upsets me. I feel it for a while, then I let go of that drama, I let it all go. Let go let God, let the cookies crumble.
I'm hoping with work I can stop that instant gut feeling before it boils up in me. I'm working on that, for now though I'm very happy because I'm much better at not letting it fester in me for days.
That probably wasn't very helpful, but best of luck.
Please fill in your profile for us so that we can in future answer you more completely.
Really this isn't a Forum that can help much with troubled dynamics that involve family and ongoing family interactions. I can't tell you how best to handle your sisters, but I doubt a 6 hour discussion helps anything.
As far as family visits go, as Dr Laura says, keep interactions short and just be polite. You give us no details regarding how this connects with your mother living on your property. We can't make up details. Sorry answers are therefore quite incomplete.
There’s not a scenario where I’d participate in a six hour discussion about much of anything. But then I’ve lost the need to explain and justify what I do. In your shoes, I’d gladly answer basic questions and if it continued past there, I’d bow out and offer to move the tiny house with mom in it to their backyard
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Best of luck setting down some boundaries for YOURSELF moving forward.
My feeling is if the sisters where that worried about your mom that you have been doing everything you can for 2 + years they should of been helping more, and be much much more understanding of why you may have argued with mom . I'm sure this is very stressful, and they definitely should be helping, and NOT judging you! I bet that they would have some anger issues after 2 years also.
It's tough on family's when they see a decline and they seem to blame the one doing most of the work.
I wish there was more information on family conflicts for aging, this seems to be an epidemic .
Im really sorry, I have no good advice for you. If I did my family wouldn't be such a mess either.
A very different situation than yours, mom doesn't live with me. With that being said, I have learned to let go of things that I disagree with my family on, and learning to just take care of me. I know how much I'm doing, I know I'm doing as much as I can do given my situation, and I know how far and what I'm willing to do in the future. I have let my family know what to expect of me and what not to expect of me, I'm stuck to that and put up my boundaries.
Also I've learned, when my family does something that upsets me. I feel it for a while, then I let go of that drama, I let it all go. Let go let God, let the cookies crumble.
I'm hoping with work I can stop that instant gut feeling before it boils up in me. I'm working on that, for now though I'm very happy because I'm much better at not letting it fester in me for days.
That probably wasn't very helpful, but best of luck.
Really this isn't a Forum that can help much with troubled dynamics that involve family and ongoing family interactions. I can't tell you how best to handle your sisters, but I doubt a 6 hour discussion helps anything.
As far as family visits go, as Dr Laura says, keep interactions short and just be polite.
You give us no details regarding how this connects with your mother living on your property. We can't make up details. Sorry answers are therefore quite incomplete.