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He took all of my unemployment and my driving pay. I drive part time Uber and Lyft. Im 72 and now live with my youngest daughter, she does not know about this current scam. I have three daughters and I promised them that I would talk to them if I ever had this problem again but I just can't. It's over now; he took me for all but $1,000. I am on social security. My middle child has financial POA because they didn't trust me, as they shouldn't have. So are there legal ramifications for me since I was talked into giving my money away again, believing that he no longer scams? I truly would welcome death now. I have taxes to do and am in a panic.

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We all make mistakes...sometimes serious, sometimes more than once. But you must prevent it from happening again. That's the main reason for coming clean to your daughters. Somebody has identified you as an "easy mark" and you will now be a target for other schemes. Your personal information must "disappear" from public access and you cannot accomplish this without some expert legal and technological help.

Your daughters may groan and moan and scold, but they will forgive you and realize you were taken advantage of. There are thousands of trusting people, with good intentions, like you, who get scammed.
Ask your daughters to help you avoid this in the future. Believe me, it's not just a matter of being "smart". Criminals are always smarter than we are in matters of deception, and to them, crime pays!
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Please contact a lawyer and follow his/her advice. Please file a police report.
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You have received very good advice….for your own sake, take it. If you can file a police report, do it now! At least there’s record of it. What do you mean all records are gone? Did you delete them? Please sit down with your 3 daughters and come clean how this happened again. You sound like a very trusting soul, learn not to be. Except for your daughters. The POA daughter and you need to go to attorney now, hand over ALL your financials, everything including a debit card and have her made complete POA NOW! Your children will most likely be upset, but I’m sure they would rather have you than not! If you feel suicidal, please tell them immediately so that they can get you the proper help….please. I sure hope you can get this resolved. Also, have your phone#s changed. I would disconnect a house phone in your name. Best of luck to you, please tell your daughters TODAY! Liz
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barbmck: It is IMPERATIVE that you contact your local law enforcement posthaste. It is of equal importance that you inform your daughters of this fraud as well as quite possibly your financial institution. Also your PoA daughter MUST NOW handle your financials. In a situation like this, it will do you no good to remain silent. To do so only benefits the perpetrator.
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Whoever is your POA needs to put their name on your bank account and you need to have NO access to your accounts. Your POA can pay your bills from your account. If someone doesn't do this then a court should appoint a guardian. A psychiatrist would do this. You aren't capable cognitively. You need to reach out to you POA today.
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Tell them.
there is nothing they can say or do that will hurt as badly as having been scammed twice and knowing you are keeping this secret!
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Your daughters made you promise to tell them if it ever happened again and you agreed so you wouldn’t be feeling so ashamed, so if there was anything that could be done they could do it and because they need you to be forthcoming about things that affect your life and future. They don’t want to know so they can shame you or be disappointed in you they want to know so they can help you recover, so you have someone to share these life pickles we get ourselves into now that your husband can’t be that person anymore. They want to know because they love you and you need to share because you love them. Choose the daughter you feel most comfortable confiding this in first and let her help you share it with the others, they all need to know but especially the one you live with and the one who has POA, depending on how much of your finances she is managing she’s probably going to find out anyway, better it come from you. Then together you can come up with a system that helps prevent as much damage in the future should it come up again and how to recover from it financially. These things are always hard to do and snowball the longer you resist but then once you do get it out the relief is great and we kick ourselves for not saying something sooner because it wasn’t half as bad as we imagined!

Talk to one of your daughters today and get on with the positives in your life, 3 daughters who obviously love you very much, you sound way to able bodied to be wanting death to be near!
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Another vote for you to tell your daughters. I know this is embarrassing, but the important thing is for you to be financially safe in the future. Obviously, what you and your daughters are doing now didn't keep you safe during this last scam, so you need to reassess - think of how you and your daughters could have more effectively kept you from being scammed. What changes could be made? Could you have made it more difficult for you to get to the money without your POA's help? Could you have made it more difficult for this scammer (or others like them) to get in contact with you? Focus on that. (And be aware that if the scam was online, that this person may create a new identity to try to scam you yet again - be very skeptical of any random contacts with sob stories/wanting money.)

Also, your financial POA will need to know what your situation is, so they can help you. If you pretend that you still have that money when you don't, then they can't help you as effectively. Also, if they have access to your accounts...how long do you really think you'll be able to hide the fact that the money is gone? If they find out a month or a year from now, how much HARDER will that conversation be when they ask what happened? Come clean now, and you'll have a clear conscience.

And though filing a police report may "do nothing", it does - they may not be able to find the person or get your money back, but it makes a paper trail about the person who scammed you. That could be evidence against this person if they are ever caught (or if they scam someone else.)
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My dad was scammed last fall. It went on for two months before he realized what was happening and then he told me. Since then, I have taken over his FB and email accounts, set up credit monitoring, and frozen his cards except for one. When I next see him, we will be visiting his banks and getting online banking set up that I can access.

What if he had told me right away? So much headache could have been avoided.

Talk to your daughters now. Put aside the pride and embarrassment, know that they are probably going to not be happy with what they hear, but get this out in the open and deal with it. Hiding only takes away your peace.
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Other than the advice than has been given you will need to work with your middle child youngest child and a tax lawyer regarding this situation. You will also need to work with a family lawyer to get your POA nailed down regarding financial matters.
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Have you been checked by Dr for cognitive problems? You need to tell your daughters NOW! To deceive them by not telling them would be unfair. You've got yourself into a pickle and your only help is going to be your daughter's. Be honest with them. After all, don't they at least deserve that???
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thank you all for your comments. THE police do nothing but take the info. I don't even know what to say. This is one I have to take to the grave I think. Everything that I had as far as info is gone.,deleted..
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Flowerhouse1952 Feb 2022
The police take the info. At least the scammer will be reported! You're looking for an excuse not to say anything. At least tell your daughters so they can start the ball rolling in this scammer.
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In the end, it's only money and not worth your life. Money is replaceable, your life is not. Yes, scams are a terrible thing and you've lost a lot of hard earned money, I get it. You feel embarrassed and worried about telling your daughters, but you have to. They love you, this POS scammer does not. File a police report and let THEM tell you whether or not they can help you. Block this scammer and agree to take no more DMs or whatever it was you were taking that got you into hot water in the first place. If you want to find love, look for it in person with people you know or thru introductions from friends. Avoid internet love interests bc lots of them are con artists. Con men are confidence men....skilled in the art of building YOUR confidence in THEM so they can steal from you.

Sit down with your daughters and spill the beans. Then set about rebuilding your life without keeping secrets or putting your faith and trust in strangers. Honor yourself because you are worth it.

Wishing you the best of luck moving past this unfortunate event.
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Deep breaths.
Know that the scammer (otherwise known as a POS) has deep problems that won’t stop with you. He has no conscious but knows all the right buttons to push. Like a safe cracker, he is adept at getting from you what you have no intention of giving.
Trust your children. If the POA is set up where she can’t take over until you are proven incompetent, then have it changed so she can take action now. If it is an internet scam, you should probably have her take your computer until you can detox. Volunteer somewhere. Be active. You can reclaim your dignity.
Your insurance will probably pay for therapy. You need it. If it won’t, find some on a sliding scale.
About the taxes. Remember that not filing is the crime. They will allow you a payment schedule. Let the POA daughter manage.
I am so sorry this happened to you. You can help others by telling your story. Be careful. You have had a terrible shock.
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Call the police, tell your daughter, and hand over all your finances to her NOW. Giving her POA doesn't mean she's in charge now unless it's a durable POA. Most people assign a "springing" POA which takes effect at a specific time or when you're incapacitated.

You are a victim, and yes, you weren't too smart to fall for this again, but you CAN do something to fight back. Do it! Think of the others this guy scams, because I guarantee you aren't the only one.
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Katefalc Feb 2022
Honestly, it’s too late now if he took the money. You can call police but I’m willing to bet they won’t get involved if you didn’t learn after the first time. You GAVE your money away to him? Was this a “ catfish, love affair “ type situation over the internet? If so, you are clearly out of luck. I know this because it happened to someone I know. These scammers are usually from Nigeria or some other far away place. Good luck, I hope you are more careful moving forward.
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Honestly, if my mom pulled this type of stunt and thought deception was the answer, she'd be looking for a new place to live.

Is this a male that has wooed you out of your funds? A family member or what?

You need to come clean and either trust your daughters or go live where you don't have any extra money to give away to someone that has already proven who and what they are.
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Adding to what others have already written, I think you need to have some serious discussions with your family, or someone you trust, as to how and why this second episode has been allowed to happen.   

One specific issue is why you believe this person is no longer a scammer?   Why is this person even involved in your life?   Have you considered seeking injunctive relief, such as a PPO (Personal Protection Order) to keep this person away from you?

It's time to get legal and keep this person out of your life, so that you're not considering death as an alternative.   You might also want to consider some serious counseling.
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You must be honest with your daughters who are devoting time to help you. To hide this from them would be adding to the scam.

And you now need to give her 100% authority to manage ALL your financial affairs so that this doesn't happen a 3rd time. Any money you earn (including cash from tips) goes right to the daughter and she is the gatekeeper when you want some of your money to use. That is, if she even still wants the headache of managing your finances and monitoring you. Yes, she will be upset for a while but you need her help so go with a solution for prevention. It's the least you can do.
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You need to give over all of your financial power (cards, checks, pins, account #'s) to your POA daughter. Now.

You need to file a police report. Clearly you know this guy. He deserves to be exposed so he doesn't target others.
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You need to file a police report. And you need to follow through on any and all investigations AND taking this to court. Depending on the amount this could be a Felony and the punishment is higher for that. You need to follow through. There is no telling how many others he did this to.
A POA is not "active" until you are for one reason or another deemed incapacitated or incompetent.
I am not even going to ask how the same person could "scam" you again.
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Katefalc Feb 2022
It’s obvious she must be incompetent and I’d be pretty upset if I was her daughter. Once might be a mistake but TWICE is stupidity…. Sorry to sound harsh but the truth .
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You need to tell your daughter who is POA immediately. also file a police report.
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