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I'm writing as a third party. My aunt works for a home healtcare company she has been working at the same patients home for 7 years. Progressively over the 7 years her health has declined due to her disease. Her daughter that lives in the home with her and also cares for her has always had attention seeking behavior. For example when hospice nurses would come she would say her mother was doing things that she wasn't and that she was in so much pain however she would be fine in a good mood good with names and everything. It became concerning to my aunt during this time because none of that was true. Well a few days ago the daughter was stating to my aunt that she will only eat for my aunt but that's also because she sat there patiently and would help her to eat she's still drinking fine as well. This evening my aunt was told that the daughter spoke to the doctor told the doctor her mother no longer was swallowing which again wasn't true. So my aunt is being told to only give her medications (orally because they are thicker supposedly the doctor said) and keep her comfortable but not to feed her or give her anything to drink. Obviously it breaks her heart but she also feels conflicted inside knowing she's being told to sit and watch someone literally starve to death and knowing that she is still able to eat and drink. I have all the respect in the world to anyone that is in that profession and all families that take care of their loved ones with this awful disease I can't possibly begin to imagine. So I guess what my question is, is the daughter "allowed" to do that is this even something you can report if so how and to whom. It breaks my heart even thinking about it. Thanks in advance for the answers I really appreciate it!!

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People lose the desire for eating as they near the end of life, it's one of the more common misconceptions that the dying are "starved to death". That said, if someone shows an interest in eating or drinking they should never be deprived, it is possible to thicken fluids and puree foods so that almost everyone can manage with careful supervision or hand feeding; sometimes it is more the idea of eating that appeals and they will be satisfied with just a few bites.
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I must ask, do you know every detail of this woman’s care plan? It sounds like the family is in touch with the doctor and are following doctor’s orders for this lady. Is the lady on hospice care? If the lady begging for food? If the lady is in her last days, feeding her could cause her discomfort and pain as the digestive system begins to shut down. If your aunt feels this woman is being abused, she can always notify Adult Protective Services but she will lose her job. Perhaps your aunt should speak with the doctor or hospice if the lady is on hospice care.
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Ubless your Aunt is at the patients side 24/7 and included in talks with the doctor she doesnt know the whole story.

Many dementia patients have VERY different behaviors at different times of day and for different "audiences". My mother would NEVER tell her caregivers she was in pain; she would call US and tell one of us that she was "writhing in agony".

I highly doubt that the doctor is basing her/decision to withhold food based solely on the report of a relative. Hasn't the hospice nurse examined the patient and determined whether their is danger of aspiration?
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