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When my children were in preschool they visited the nursing homes during Christmas to sing Christmas carols.



I went along on these field trips and saw the seniors eyes light up when they saw the children.



I felt that it was beneficial for the children and the seniors.



We were members of an organization called The Parenting Center.



The Parenting Center was involved in community outreach and we would go to the nursing home at Mardi Gras time.



We would dress the children in costumes and have a parade throughout the nursing home.



Many of those residents loved Mardi Gras and enjoyed our little parade. We also brought king cakes for them to enjoy, as they are a part of our Mardi Gras tradition.



The only other time I was in a nursing home was to see my godmother with Alzheimer’s disease and when my mother and father were there for rehabilitation services.



Sometimes, I think about visiting a nursing home but I don’t know if I would become depressed. I think about if I would ever go into a nursing home how nice it would feel to be visited by others.



What are your thoughts on visiting nursing homes, especially for those of us who have been long time caregivers. By the way, my mom has been gone since 2021. My dad died many years my mom, in 2002.

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As my mother's end is approaching I feel my visits to SN facilities will too. I did also visit a much loved grandmother some years ago.

There have been so many times I walked the halls with dread. It was not because my mother was difficult (although I know I have had posts that show frustration) but rather the amount of suffering I witnessed seemed endless. It would be kind of me to attempt to bring something to another still in residence and my Sundays will likely seem empty but I truly feel that perhaps my visitation needs to bring closure. Unless I have a complete personality reversal once my mother has passed. This is now the 3rd time I am being told the end is near but it clearly has all signs of it as clearly told to me today by the hospice nurse.

I was wondering if others continue to talk to their family member once they seem to have slipped into a coma which is not the case yet but could be soon.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
I’m so sorry, River. You have been dealing with this for awhile.

To answer your question about talking to someone who has slipped into a coma.

Yes, I did that twice, first time was with my brother and the next time was with my mom.

I personally believe that they can hear us. What do you think?

The hospice nurses told me amazing stories about patients hearing family members when they were in a coma.
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My brother in law was part of a group of seniors who would visit nursing homes to perform. It was very popular
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
Did he enjoy his visits?
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Well around here they are only just now dropping the remaining covid precautions around nursing home visitors so nobody except close family has been going into them for a long time now. But no, I am very reluctant when I think of returning to that environment. (maybe if we had a good volunteer organization, but we don't)
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
I think it makes a difference if a group of people go.

I did meet a woman who went once a week at the nursing home that my mom was doing rehab in.

She may have been volunteering through a church ministry, because she said that she was rotating with others and they tried to visit several of the residents.

She went to the DON and asked where she was most needed. They told her that she could work with a resident who had Alzheimer’s disease that didn’t eat well.

She helped feed her. She told the woman her name each week that she went. She was telling me that she asked her one time, “Do you know who I am? The woman responded, “No, I do not remember your name but I know that you belong to me.”

I found her story quite moving. She felt that she had formed a connection with this woman.
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I worked in nursing homes for years when I was much younger and enjoyed it. But after being caregiver for my parents , having to place my Dad in hospice (died 2016 ) , and my Mom in AL (died 2018) and now we have FIL in AL , no I would not be able to volunteer or visit it would be too depressing .
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
I get that. I know that it’s depressing at times.
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There are groups around here that bring Mother's Day and Father's Day and Xmas cards to the local nursing homes, plus they arrange for kids to trick or treat at the homes, too.

I'm completely burned out on caregiving and the elderly, and it's been almost two years since my last parent died. It's too bad, because I always far preferred the elderly to small children, but I just...can't anymore.

Maybe now that I'll be heading into my "Grandma years" soon, small kids will be more appealing, but for now I have to volunteer for happy, easy things like my library.

My husband thinks I don't have enough compassion. He does Meals on Wheels and volunteers at a food bank, but he offered very little hands-on help with my folks (supportive from a distance, though) and has absolutely no idea what kind of wringer I went through. His dad died 24 hours after a fall 400 miles from us and his mom is still barreling along but will get her care from one of his six siblings who are closer to her, so he's had it a lot easier. He also does better being helpful to strangers than to family. He completely collapses in a crisis.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
The trick or treating sounds fun!

Meals on Wheels and the food bank great places to volunteer.

We do have to volunteer where we are comfortable.
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This question posted, logged me out so I couldn’t proofread it. Then I couldn’t post again. Hopefully, I can remain posting on the forum. The site has been unpredictable lately. It will be nice when AgingCare irons out all of the kinks.

Anyway, should read mom died in 2021 and dad died many years before her in 2002.
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I always thought I would like to volunteer in the nursery sitting in a rocking chair rocking the babies .
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
Way,

Yes! The beginning of life is so very special.

I have friends that are NICU nurses and that is hard!
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I volunteer through Hospice 2 hours a week at a nursing home. (I also have an in-home patient). My NH patient has Alzheimer's & is in a locked memory ward. Her family moved her from an out-of-state assisted living facility because there was more family here, but she hasn't recognized anyone for months. There is interaction between us, but not cognition. She knows her name. We sometimes play catch with a balloon. She responds to her baby dolls & a battery-operated puppy. Her family gave her photo albums. She responds to simple photos, especially those with children, & she counts things. She used to sing along to old tunes - now, she may tap her foot. She can no longer read, but she sees "something" & "reads" printed words. When the weather allows, I wheel her around the property. She responds to smiles and our "in the moment" conversations - even though they make no sense.

The facility seems nice, & the patients seem well-cared for, but it's not always easy to find someone if I have a question or want to know if they took her to the bathroom, for example. Her family feels (& I agree) that one-on-one interaction is more beneficial than having her sit in the activity room with other patients & an activity director.

I used to be a family entertainer (magician & ventriloquist). Once, when I was entertaining at a nursing home, I brought my dog puppet Digger (a Wrinkles toy) into the memory unit & had him sing a nursery school song - maybe Old McDonald. The patients gathered around us & began singing. So I had him sing other old songs. They sang, too. They also wanted to pet digger.
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imavent41 Apr 2023
By the way, I cared for my mother for 25 years - off & on, mostly "on" for the last 5 years. She went to a nursing home because her health was too much for me to handle.

My significant other died 2/14/22 - his slide into dementia was swift, as was his death. I cared for him until he was hospitalized 10 days before he died. I had in-home home health care for a couple weeks.

I used to work for Big Apple Circus Clown Care Unit, which provided in-room entertainment to hospitalized children, & for Starlight Foundation of NY, which also provided in-hospital entertainment for children.

Not everyone is suited for that. When it's a family member, it's important to realize your limitations & boundaries.
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When my daughter was in high school she needed to complete community volunteer hours to keep her membership in the National Honor society . At the time my friend ( now retired) worked at AL facility , She knew they needed volunteers to help out in activities . My daughter enjoyed it . Then my daughter , after completing her volunteer hours , was hired to serve dinners in the dining room for pay . At that same time I was having a lot of trouble with my Mom with dementia , I hadn’t placed Mom yet . My daughter’s attitude changed . My daughter said between watching my mother treat me like garbage and then going to work after school dealing with these people over their food was terrible. She said the food could be on fire and they would tell her it was cold . Or they said it had no taste . My daughter said she remembers the mashed potatoes were very garlicky, she said they put alot of spices in the food . She said the old people couldn’t taste . She started calling the AL…..Cranky Fellows . My FIL is now in that same AL . My daughter never wants to go there .
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
Cranky Fellows! That would describe some of them for sure!

She has bad memories of that facility.
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I was a Red Cross candy striper back in the 80's, in high school. I always enjoyed helping the activity director. I painted ladies nails, would help feed the residents, read to them, just visit with them, etc... Being a candy striper was much more satisfying than being a CNA. (We always were understaffed & it was frustrating to not be able to care for the residents like I wanted to be able to) I have thought of doing it again and involving my teens, but then Covid happened.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
You gave manicures. My mom would have loved you! She wanted her nails painted into her 90’s. I started doing them for her when her tremors got worse with her Parkinson’s disease.

They have a million different shades of polish now. Mom always told me to use lighter shades of pink.

My daughter asked her if she wanted blue polish and she said yes. She would have never told me yes to blue polish. She loved her grandchildren and they could talk her into things. Mom was very stylish.
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Victoria,

How long did your babies stay in NICU? How long did you stay as a baby?
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imavent41 Apr 2023
Hahaha . . . I'm not an angel, but thanks.
I started as a clown but took off the makeup in 1997 - I operated a small entertainment agency & was hiring magician friends for jobs I could have taken, myself. A dear friend/mentor told me to take off the makeup. So I did. I was a magician & ventriloquist - much better ventriloquist. I saw Edgar Bergan when I was little, but Shari Lewis was my inspiration. I retired from performing in 2013. I occasionally perform for benefits or friends. I think the young kids are fantastic, too.
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Years ago my Golden Retriever had a litter of AKC puppies. A co-worker that volunteered at a NH asked if I'd bring them to visit the residents. The 8 week old fluffballs put smiles on so many faces, including mine that day.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
Cat,

I love when the therapy dogs visit the hospitals and nursing homes.

The last time my husband had surgery a woman came into the waiting area with a therapy dog. Everyone played with her dog. He was such a sweet pooch.
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Our local rural hospital is now half emergency, half nursing home – small hospitals can’t deal with major surgery or complex nursing. It has a volunteer co-ordinator, who organises all sorts of things, from Christmas parties to transport to the day activity centre. I volunteered, and she arranged for me to read to residents in a monthly session. I enjoyed it, and found it interesting to work out what was short enough and interesting enough to fit into a session time. Residents chose whether to come, and sometimes got quite involved. At the least, for the less ‘able’, it was a change from watching TV and travelogue videos. Volunteering doesn’t necessarily mean one-to-one bedside conversations.

I did it for two or three years, until trips up north made it all a bit too hard. For people who are interested in volunteering, I’d suggest asking if there would be something to do that would be interesting for yourself and also for nursing home residents who are not necessarily too perky.

Of course, music is the easiest winner. I sometimes read poetry, and sang (badly) some of the well-known verses that are set to music. I occasionally read bits of the Bible, and other things that were on the school list for the age of the NH residents, and just talked about them if people were obviously listening. It fitted in with a shopping trip to the local town, and worked for me - even though it would be unrealistic to expect NH sessions to be very exciting!
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2023
I would enjoy that too. I agree that reading and music are wonderful.

We have a group of musicians in our city that visit nursing homes and hospice facilities. I believe that music is therapeutic in so many ways.

Good storytelling also allows a person to take their mind off of their troubles for awhile. I’m sure many people enjoyed when you read to them or sang songs for them.
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