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I can easily tell that Mom’s shower has been skipped. I have brought this up time and again with the Executive Director of the Memory Care. This happened at the previous facility she lived in also. The ED said today she knows I am “sensitive” about showers. What? My mom’s Care Plan is for 2 showers a week and the missed showers happen too frequently. Most of the residents Care Plans are for 3 showers a week. We subtracted one. Then once a shower is missed, they just forget about it.
I know that not showering can lead to rashes and UTI’s. Assisting my mom with showers is part of her Care Plan at $8000. a month. It helps her maintain her dignity and well being psychologically and medically.
I blew up at mom’s first assisted living facility after a lack of safe 02 management, poor medication management, and finding multitudes of fake 5 Star reviews posted to their FB page (subsequently reported to the FTC in D.C.) That facility failed their State of NM inspection's last month.
I don’t want to go through that again.
What else can I do without becoming a pariah at the facility?
I am so fed up with business’ not fulfilling their contracted duties. This is twice now within 2 weeks, and the missed showers happen routinely. I have a suspicion that this problem may be extant in the business.
I need the facility to shower my beloved mom mindfully and as scheduled.
I want to encourage and recognize those on the Care Team that do their jobs so well, as the resident’s child and POA. The ED is supposed to be the one responsible to train and lift those Care Team members who are struggling, to be able to delegate tasks and make sure that every one of the beloved, aged ones are well cared for. It’s not happening.
The facility claims that they maintain the 1:15 ratio required by NM State law (an unrealistic ratio, in my observed opinion).
This facility is much better than the first one but they certainly do not get a 5-Star review.
All this adds to the stress of walking beside my mom as her life declines.I am so tired of having to monitor the facility so closely.
Does anyone have a suggestion?



Maybe they are understaffed. Every resident should have a shower schedule, Makes it much easier to keep track, though they could have asked her and she refused. (happened at the facility)


One of the ways is to 'bribe' them.

There is/was a lady in the facility who was still mobile, always said she was getting ready to go home, and fibbed about her showers. I can't recall what the aid told her to get her to take one, but she finally did.

By the way, the facility has to/should make notation in her medical record of her refusals for showers, (if they in fact do ask her).
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By the way, funny story, lady in wheelchair would be in the shower room with the door open and would get pissed and snarky if someone passed by the room while she was in there.

So glad I didn't need help with mine, though chuckled one time I was in there, and the aid knocked on the door and came in said "Oh it's you" and set down towels and washcloths for the next resident to use and left.
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When this has come up before, the problem has been that the ‘patient’ turns down the shower, refuses to co-operate. This leaves the staff with a problem of how much time to spend ‘persuading’ when they aren’t really able to ‘force’.

Answers have included having two staff members arrive to do the shower so that the ‘patient’ is over whelmed by numbers, but that’s clearly not simple for the facility. Or having large and forceful staff members who just push a bit more. Or possibly substituting a ‘bed wash’ that at least wipes over the ‘smelly bits’, even if it isn’t a full shower. Perhaps you could ask about the problems, and the way they try to cope?
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What documented reasons do Management give for lack of shower?
Eg Resident refused.
Resident reported pain.
Medical emergency that morning for another resident.

Is there something specific?
Is there a pattern?
Is it the same staff members?

If their documentation is just a Y or N for shower, staff may need to change this & specify WHY not.

I heard of a case where a staff member would turn on the taps in the bathroom while NOT showering someone. Was caught out by family. Staff member claimed she had an injury.. Choose to be dishonest & miss patient care rather than honestly speak up they were physically struggling with the job. Management showed them the door.

Good luck. I hope things improve.
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