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He is stubborn and won’t go to the doctor.


I don’t feel I can deal with this but, TAG! I AM IT! 😟


He got takeout food. The plastic fork broke, a tinge is missing.


One of those pokey things you stab into your food broke off and went missing.


I called his friend who is an X-ray technician (smart man).


“Get him into the ER, this is serious." He had a friend have the same thing happen, the friend went to ER. The doctor took an x-ray and saw the tinge in his intestine or stomach area.


Surgery # 1. REMOVE TINGE


Surgery # 2. PLUG UP HOLE.



This can be life threatening. Happens more often than not.



Hubby didn’t go.


After that, he said he lifted something and his side hurts. Well, let’s go to doctor. No.


I’m thinking the plastic fork which he kept for some reason (as a token). He didn’t go to Dr and he didn’t save a receipt and he is still here. Friend says that a pokey thing can actually make your body septic because intestines or bile fluid can leak into body cavity.


So here we go, we go out to dinner and he gets sick. Food poisoning? Not our first go around. It usually lasts the worst for us 4 days. Yup, we didn’t eat pizza for a whole year. I stay away from bay shrimp.


Last bout was mushroom pasta. He’s the only one who got it. He’s the only one who got sick, it’s been longer than a week. No doctor appointment.


Question.: Do I just trick him and drive up to ER or URGENT CARE?


He is constantly coughing.


This is not my first rodeo with health issues and coughs. My dad had cancer, he coughed and he had to get tapped to relieve the body cavity of fluids so organs can breath. I think I just answered my own question.


Throw in a plastic piece if a fork and bad mushrooms and whatever else is going on... that was my going to be my question.


I think I just need someone to give me the answer to go against his stubbornness and take him? Or let him decide on his own?


Maybe he just can’t think straight.


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Mayday,

I am so sorry that your husband is so stubborn.

Tricking him sounds good to me, even if you have to tell him that you need to go to the ER for yourself (make up something) and need him to go with you to fill out the paperwork for you.

Then when you arrive inside you can let the staff know that you are concerned about your husband.

Keep us posted. We care!
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MAYDAY Aug 2023
When I pull up to the doors..
he will not step out….
I will drive him there… and if he says no, I will hand him his cell to go snd see his doctor…
if he refuses… perhaps that’s when I will call 911.
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Try to take him to the ER by any means possible.

You can also secretly call 911 ambulance. When they arrive, you act surprised. You have no idea who called. Must be a neighbor who heard his coughing.

Look at the title of your thread. Do as your title says. He must go.
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Thank you.. I was down a similar road with my best friend last year. She had cluster headaches so bad, she was that bad she called me. Took her to her doctor and he said ER.. we drive up, she looked at the doors with waiting room filled and told me to drive her home.
next morning I’m at work.. I need to go to ER… well, duh…
I never saw her look so bad…
She admitted herself in…
.. but I couldn’t get her out.. finally her sister got her out 7 days later.. diagnosis? Not sure… everything test scan was ok.. chalk it up to liquid lung or chf.. they played with meds… and now if she feels different she’ll take one of those meds…
So, my trust in hospitals , I’m not too sure… and … hubs had a couple bad incidents …. But he needs to go… somewhere….
Maybe give him an ultimatum ??? Either call niw and get in to see doctor… or you’re going to ER…
One or the other???
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NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2023
Geeeez…
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Mayday,

It is amazing how we can be in denial of a health crisis.

I remember a time when I went to the movies with my friend. My friend is a nurse and she heard me wheezing and asked me if I was okay. I told her that I was fine.

My friend told me that she was going to tell my husband about my wheezing and that he needed to take me to the ER, and if he didn’t take me that she would.

I have asthma. I did end up having to go to the ER. I nearly died because I didn’t think that I needed to go. Thank God, my friend insisted on me going to the ER.

I had become lax about having my inhaler prescription refilled because I hadn’t had an attack in awhile. I received breathing treatments for several days in the hospital and was sent home with a nebulizer.

Needless to say, after being hospitalized for my asthma attack I keep my inhaler on me at all times now.
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MAYDAY Aug 2023
thank you. He used to have asthma as a kid.. his brother was sent to a special camp.
We came home from a trip .. I was coughing for a few months. A veterinarian friend told me to get tested for fungus in lungs.. I did and reluctantly the dr I had at the time gave me a lil under the skin test for TB and fungus…
fungus test spot reddened and swelled up a bit… doctors never called me back for results…
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Thank you for listening…keep you posted
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NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2023
Please let us know how he is and how you are doing.
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“Maybe give him an ultimatum ??? Either call now and get in to see doctor… or you’re going to ER… 
One or the other???”

Don’t let him decide.
You decide. Go ahead and force him by car - or if he doesn’t cooperate, secretly call 911 (“the neighbors called”; you had nothing to do with it).

Better safe than sorry.
Maybe the fork thing isn’t in his body; maybe it’s on the floor, invisible in a corner.

But better safe than sorry. He should go to ER.

Fork thing — kind of like swallowing a fish bone. Very painful. If he swallowed it, he should have felt something. Weird he didn’t feel anything. Might not be in his body?
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MAYDAY Aug 2023
our X-ray friend said that his friend wasn’t sure either.. that freaked him out enough to check himself into ER…
a simple xray or scan showed a tinge plastic thingy in his guts…
Thank you for saying fushbone… that happened to my cat many years ago… she almost died if that… I completely forgot.
I experienced that with the cat sooo long ago… I will remind hubby about that story. thank you again…
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Hubby may be "scared" to get help, understandable since a hospital is not the most cheerful place.
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MAYDAY Aug 2023
You are so correct…
You are so right … toooo many memories about Lo ‘s in hospitals… but it happens.. thank goodness for the professionals who are there for the right reasons..
Think all of us have met both sides ….
GN. Thank you for your support.. I couldn’t have gone this long without you…
By the way.. is CAPTAIN still on this site? I haven’t seen any posts, but he msy have a different handle…
Wish everyone well… keep safe…
I’m going to go to sleep… hopefully… my elderly cat is chewing herself up…, got a call to vet for revolution drops..
gonna give her another bath tomorrow with epsom salt, baking soda, borax, and cat shampoo… ..before or after the ER drop off standoff.
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venting,

It makes me wonder how many times these things happen, huh? I suppose it could happen with someone accidentally swallowing a portion of a toothpick too.

I have two daughters. They begged to get their ears pierced. A freaky coincidence happened with them.

My daughter was 6 at the time. The earring back somehow lodged into the middle of her ear! I had to take her to the ER to have the thing surgically removed. The ER nurse said she has seen all kinds of crazy things in the ER with kids.

Guess what? When my second daughter got her ears pierced, at 6, the same thing happened to her! Crazy, huh? I thought how can this happen twice?

Again, the ER nurse said, “We see crazy incidents with kids. We have pulled stuff out of their noses and everything! They gaze up at something that they are holding and they drop it and it accidentally falls inside of their nose or open mouth! They swallow all kinds of things.”

My oldest daughter was always in trouble with the school nurse because she loved the bandaids with the characters on them. The school nurse would call me and tell me that she was pretending to be hurt, had imaginary boo boos just to get a colorful bandaid. LOL 😆

Then, I got the call from the school nurse saying that she really was hurting but she couldn’t fix it with a bandaid. She told me that the earring back was inside of her earlobe. So, off to the ER we went.

My friend who is a nurse, has a son was always taking dares to get money! He ate an entire can of cat food for $10! LOL 😆

Later that night, he started bleeding from his rectum. Cat food is full of tiny bones which is fine for cats but not humans. He went to the ER too!
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JoAnn29 Aug 2023
That is so weird. My daughters earlobe got infected aft getting ears pierced and because of her hair being over her ears we didn't notice it. It was so bad, the back of her earing flew off.
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Goodnight, Mayday. It’s really late here.

I will check back with you tomorrow. Sending you and hubby all the best. Hang in there.
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Why haven't you just called 911 already and have him transported to the ER/hospital?
And just don't listen to what hubby wants to do or doesn't want to do. You're just going to have to take charge and do what you think is best., and calling 911 might just be the answer.
When my late husband hadn't been himself for several days and kept making a choking/coughing noise in Nov. 2018, I wanted to take him to the doctor but he said he was fine. Well I knew something was amiss, so I just went ahead and called 911 and of course my husband wasn't at all happy about that but they took him to the ER where I was told my husband had aspiration pneumonia and that he wasn't going to make it through the night.
Long story short, he did survive that but ended up with sepsis and septic shock and came home completely bedridden and under hospice care where he remained until his death in Sept. 2020.
So quit putting the ball in your husband's hands and start taking charge and do what you have to.
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ventingisback Aug 2023
I AGREE.
Also, don’t put the ball into forum members’ hands.

Just do it OP:
ER.
If all is fine, bring him straight home from ER. Staying in hospital more than necessary is also a health risk.
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The problem with calling 911 is he can refuse to go and the EMTs can't make him.

My GFs sister was hanging drapes and put a pin in her mouth which she swallowed. Collapsed her lung.
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NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2023
Oh my gosh! Yep! Strange things can happen. A pin. Ouch! That’s so scary.

True, he can refuse going off in an ambulance.

Is there anything that a person can say to make the EMT staff take someone off to the hospital? How does that work legally? They are supposed to help save lives.
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If you can mentally, emotionally and financially endure the outcome of letting him conduct a trainwreck, then do that. If not. then do what works for the both of you.

I'm sure you wrote that distressed post in the wee hours. Any update?

"... I just need someone to give me the answer…" ok, (respectfully) it's... tine, not tinge. This is the only sure answer I can give you in this situation.
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ventingisback Aug 2023
I’ve never known the name of that thing. And I think 1 in 1 billion know the name.

Anyway, I’ll continue calling it the fork thing.

(VentingisSNACK)
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MAYDAY,

Checking in on you today. How is your husband doing and how are you feeling today?

Hope all is well.
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MAYDAY Aug 2023
I don’t do well under pressure.. and I asked and told him several times… so we do have a Dr appointment next week.. I said either that or urgent care
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Make sure you know where the important documents are, what all the passwords are for financial stuff, and then just let the recalcitrant old git do exactly what he pleases. If he dies of a plastic fork tine in his gullet, well, nobody’s fault but his own.
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MAYDAY Aug 2023
I keep thinking we’re not old.. but… we are git ting there..
One friend’s dad told me that you have to be tough to grips old..
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GH’s grandma fell in her kitchen and was lying on the floor. My MIL said I’m going to call an ambulance. GM said “NO! I don’t want to go, DO NOT call an ambulance.”

MIL called us and we were several hours away. “what do I do?”

I said call an ambulance. MIL said, “but she said, no! Don’t call an ambulance.”

I mean REALLY. GM was crying and moaning in the background because she had a BROKEN HIP. MIL was listening to her mother.

They are always going to say no, they don’t want to go. Should we have listened and let her lie there on the floor forever until she died? Get her a pillow, make her comfortable in front of the oven on the kitchen floor? Give her a plate of food? I’m sure you recognize how ridiculous that sounds.

I had to keep repeating to MIL, “hang up with me and call 911” and MIL kept telling her mother “she says to call 911” and GM kept saying “No, don’t call 911”

I was just about to hang up and call 911 myself when MIL decided to do the right thing and call 911.

GM died about 6 days later because she was medically fragile and the broken hip caused that house of cards to fall down.

It doesn’t matter what they want. We still have to do the right thing.
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NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2023
SW,

It sounds like you do well in a crisis. It’s interesting that some people intuitively know exactly what to do and others panic.

I have a friend that does exceptionally well in a crisis, yet she knows that after it’s all over, that’s when everything sinks in and then she falls apart!

You know the type, my friend is a strong woman who never cries until the crisis is over with. Then out of nowhere she will start crying about what happened. A delayed reaction to the incident.
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Mayday, how are you?
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MAYDAY Aug 2023
My friend told me, dads don’t argue too much with their daughters. Ask her to come home and help. Daughters listen to their mom’s very best and smart friends.

She came home. Dad was saying no.. he will go to doctor. She said ok, let’s go.

she put him in her car and I followed in mine..

dad: where are we going?
daughter: I don’t know.
Dad: if you don’t, who does?
daughter: I don’t know.

so she got him there. Thank you!

it was not a time. It was a hernia.

they did some work on him to stabilize him. They kept him over night. Apparently Monday mornings are very busy. Daughter laughed when dr told us. DD told Dr. That bin thought mondays would be less busy than Sunday. I guess I was wrong.

got him home Tuesday afternoon. Wednesday he slept all day until I woke him up, thinking if I didn’t, pneumonia would set in. I’m not good in stressful situations.
Thursday he was up and talking normal, etc..
Monday is the follow up with his primary.
Thank you for asking.. I’ll keep you posted:
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OP, when you get to ER with your DH, remember:

It’s still up to you, if you want to follow the doctor’s advice. You and Dh decide, not the doctor. You ask for pros/cons of an operation/whatever’s recommended. Get informed and then decide. You don’t need to blindly follow everything the doctor recommends.
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Call 911. They are obliged to take anyone 5 and under as well as over 70.
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ventingisback Aug 2023
“as well as over 70”

That’s actually not true. You’re allowed to refuse.

You’ll only be forced if you’re a danger to yourself (suicidal) or to others.
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Hi OP,

You just wrote:
“He’s going to doctors this week”

Hopefully it all works out.
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ventingisback Aug 2023
Maybe he really didn’t swallow the fork thing. Maybe he’ll be just fine.

Normally he would have felt it in his throat, if he had swallowed the fork thing.
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Mayday, well done.

You, your friend and daughter did a great job getting el-stubborno hubby cared for.

Tare care of you too!
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MAYDAY Aug 2023
yes, I had a lot of friends asking me why..
my daughter just took the helm and steered him straight to ER with me in tow..

he can’t argue with her.
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Mayday,

I hope your DH’s upcoming doctor appointment goes well.

Men can be stubborn or they take their health for granted.

If my husband wouldn’t have gotten shingles and gone to the doctor for that, he wouldn’t have found out about his prostate cancer.

He hadn’t been to the doctor in years! So the doctor ran routine labs. Since his numbers were off, she sent him to an oncologist and urologist.

He’s very fortunate that he caught it early. He had the choice to do surgery or radiation treatments. He opted for radiation and is in remission.

Overall, cancer treatments have come a very long way.
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Mayday, I have a scale from Amazon that was about $13. I found it was accurate. Its called BAGAIL its about 5x7 so does not take up much space.

I was always told when determining 4 oz of meat should not be bigger than the palm of ur hand. Here's what I found on the internet

"Your palm is about the size of 3 ounces of food or one serving of meat. Your fist is equivalent to 1 cup or 8 ounces."
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MAYDAY Aug 2023
Thank so much.
I guess my aunt was in the right direction, but I need to start monitoring his food intake
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