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Starting to panic.

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try explaining that he needs round the clock medical care but this isnt provided in hospital any more . from my recent experience with aunt edna nh is indeed hospitalization . her vitals are checked daily and shes under constant doctor care . if the mate cares about you he would sacrifice his own happiness a little bit for your well being . if he cares more about himself than your health and sanity then hes not a very good mate / spouse / whatever . dump him at the NH you saw on 60 minutes and never look back . selfishness has no place in a loving relationship imo .
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X, is he on any type of anti anxiety meds? If not, call his doctor asap and get some, maybe for you as well. Please don't take offence at that! How about getting him transported to nh by ambulette? I hate the idea of lying, but perhaps some therapeutic fibbing would be permissible here...you tell him that he's going with you to see a different doctor who may be able to help him with his forgetting. I would not drive him by yourself in his agitated state. My mom tried to wrest the steering wheel away from my husband as we drove her from rehab to AL. After that, anywhere she goes, she goes in an ambulette. Good luck!!!!
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Don't do it alone. Get friends or family to help you make the move and be sure he has anxiety meds for the first week or two. If staff tells you to not visit so often, take their advice. If they tell you not to visit for two weeks to settle him in, follow their advice. If you need a court order, get one.
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Some people have a stereotypical picture of a nursing home, thinking they are dark and dank, with unsmiling faces. And that it is a place to go to die. Well, one can easily die at home, too.

If the issue is dementia/Alzheimer's, there isn't much one can do to convinced a person that moving to the nursing home is in their best interest, that they will get round the clock professional care. Sadly sometimes one has to wait for a medical episode where one goes to the hospital, then onto a nursing home.
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if all that fails frame him up with a kilo of cocaine . he'll be well cared for in the prison infirmary .
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