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Hi,


Mom did not recover well from the severe dementia symptoms she had after hip surgery (blood clot on lungs etc.).She cannot rehabilitate due to dementia. 3 doctors have said she has 6 months or less to live. She goes into a hospice home today. I've done my best over the past three years taking care of her by myself and there is still more to do after it ends. The feelings are so strange now. I've gone from chaotic mode and living on the edge caring for my mom 24/7 to complete quietness in this house. At some point in this journey will I ever again be able to embrace calmness/quietness?

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Yes. You will grow to love the peace and quiet. You’ll even wonder how you tolerated the upheaval in your life caused by mom.

Play some happy music and dance around your kitchen!
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funkygrandma59 Jan 18, 2024
I second everything you said Fawnby and can testify about loving the peace and quite and absence of stress.
There is life and joy after caregiving!!!
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You will almost certainly adjust. This is a shock to your system for certain Elvis. I had a friend Arnette who expressed it just about as you have. She eventually moved to be in a condo when her home upkeep became a bit much, made friends, began to move back out into the world. Played cards with a few, traveled to a casino occasionally, learned to love more quiet and time for reading, knitting, and etc. It takes a whole lot of time to adjust. I wish you good luck. Many caregivers lose touch with friends, with the world in general, forget how to even have time to take a walk, snap a few pictures. Give yourself that time. I wish you the best.
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(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
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God Bless you on this new journey for you and your mom.....
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Yes at first you are sad they are Not coming home and Only have so Long to Live . I got a therapist to support me on Cape Cod so after NH Visits I had someone to talk to . Spend as Much time as you can Visiting Mom - we watched TV together - Steve Harvey - Game shows . Just enjoy the time you have left with your Mom .
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Elvis,

You will grieve. You will heal. You will adjust and most likely feel relieved.

Wishing you peace as you continue on this difficult journey.
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I understand but have never read it stated so clearly. Went through Dad’s passing, then sister diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and having to get her moved, then Mum passed. No one else left to tend to details. I am highly annoyed in finding I cannot get anything accomplished yet days drag on and nothing productive done. Why? Beginning to wonder if I’m losing it! But I think I’ve figured out that I must be hanging on to what little is left which makes no sense and I need to learn to find the joy again. Sis won’t be here forever - need to enjoy time with her.
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