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I had a rather long post on here about a year and a half ago regarding a situation with my aunt. Aunt's husband had killed himself and her children quit speaking to her. We tried to help by moving her near us but it soon became too overwhelming and we had to back away from her. A few months later I noticed her apartment was empty and found out she had moved 5 hours away to a city her daughter lived and no one knew, not even her daughter.



She's dead. We found out several days before Thanksgiving that she shot herself in the head. Not a lot is known about her last days, she was dead for two to three days before she was found. She never did reconcile with her children. Not aware of any recent new stressors and she had bought the gun several months ago. I cant believe she did this.

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I am so very sorry.
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I'm sorry this has happened. My father took his own life. It is a really shocking thing to find out about, especially the violence of it. Please try to not blame yourself or anyone else.
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EmotionallyNumb Dec 7, 2023
Thank you, such a shock when someone dies like this.
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
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So sorry for your loss . You tried . Some people can not be reached . Try not to second guess what was going on in her mind. I truly believe that we don’t often know all the reasons ending one’s own life is chosen .
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Wow this is sad and insane all at the same time. I wonder what happened to the cat.
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applefrom Dec 6, 2023
This is such a sad story! I must be blind because I can't see anything about a cat. Where did you see that? We adopted a new kitten last Friday.
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I'm very sorry to hear of your aunt choosing such a gruesome final exit and preventing family members from saying goodbye. My condolences.
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OP I remember your difficult situation, and I’m not surprised that you have just posted “I honestly thought she was too narcissistic to truly hurt herself”. Other people have already said all the ‘nice’ things. I’ll just add that no-one was to blame except herself. There’s a moral in there.
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There is always a sharp pain when you know of someone that committed suicide.
There is the "was there something I missed, we missed"?
All the "What if's" that come with news like this.
My thought is that she was in a very dark place and this seemed like the solution.
I am sorry for your whole family's loss.
And to use a cliché...she is no longer in mental turmoil or mental pain.
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waytomisery Dec 6, 2023
Very accurate description of the thoughts that go through one’s head at the news that someone close as ended their own life . I had a friend that did. My other friend was extremely distraught over it . I told her that “ M” thought this was the only way to relieve her pain and now that she is gone we have to accept it and respect her decision , as there is no way to try to help her anymore .
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I honestly thought she was too narcissistic to truly hurt herself. I did try to invite her to several family functions before she moved but she never answered the phone or called me back. I was ok having some interactions with her, I just couldn't be 'her person' or caregiver. She just tried to dominate the life of people who got involved with her and then got angry when they tried to put boundaries in place. It's sad that this is how she chose to end things.
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PeggySue2020 Dec 6, 2023
You tried to help. You really did. But when you made it clear she would not be living with your mother and you, she cut off communication.

May I ask who in the family talked to the coroner and made arrangements for disposition?
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So sorry to hear of her Passing in such a tragic manner . All You Can do is pray for her and let her Know " it was ok to end her Life and Now to go into the Light " The holidays are so sad for the people Living alone with out Love in their lives or support .
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I remember your post. Your Aunt was a manipulator. Wanted u to care for her and you refused because you had your Mom and a full-time job. Her own children were estranged because they felt she caused their fathers death. Last you updated, she had moved again and you had no idea where.

So sorry for your loss. Please, no guilt. Those who should have the guilt are her children. They could have helped without being totally involved.
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EmotionallyNumb Dec 6, 2023
She deliberately didn't want us to know where she moved. I am sure she was lonely but I can't understand how she got from there to suicide. Now her kids have to live with knowing both of their parents killed themselves. It feels almost spiteful.
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I am so sorry. The truth is there comes a time for some when life is too tough to live. The use of a gun always indicates this isn't an idle attempt, but is a wish for a final exit. I feel so sorry that people cannot have a kinder gentler exit from our world than the uncertainty and violence of guns and such. This is something you can only accept. It is sad indeed. But for her, suffering is over now.
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EN, I am so very sorry for your family.

May The Lord give you all strength, comfort and grieving mercies over this tragedy.
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EmotionallyNumb Dec 6, 2023
Thank you.
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What sad news, EN. I'm so sorry.
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I am so sorry for the loss of your aunt. I am sure that you felt many emotions when you heard of her death.

CBS morning news show just did a segment on suicide. The statistics blew me away.

A guest on the show stated that he tried committing suicide ten times during his lifetime. The first time at age six years old. He couldn’t even explain why he wanted to end his life as a child. He is a college professor. He said that we must talk about this tragedy with others to remove the stigma.

Some people are in tremendous emotional pain. Others are in horrific physical pain.

Suicide prevention and hot lines helps saves lives. They have talked people out of taking their lives on a daily basis. So many teens have committed suicide.

They stated that the number one reason for suicide was loneliness. It’s truly tragic when this occurs.

I have suicide in my family also. It is devastating to become aware of someone ending their life.

I have a couple of close friends who committed suicide many years ago. It haunted me for years. I hope they are finally at peace.

When I was a young girl, a teenager I thought about suicide after something awful happened in my life.

My father happened to find me and I didn’t go through with it. I was walking along the bayou and considering drowning myself. My father insisted that I go home.

They say that mothers have intuition but in this case it was my dad who suspected something was wrong. I often wondered if he knew that he saved my life that day. We never spoke about it afterwards.
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TopsailJanet Dec 6, 2023
We've had several suicides in our extended family. That is also a big reason not to keep a gun in your house. Most of the gun deaths in this country are suicides. Guns just make it too easy and too final.
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I am sorry for your loss. This is a very difficult subject. It happens more often with family not understanding or knowing that THIS might occur. No worries, there are other way to finalize yourself other than by gun.. known a few who did this without gun…
Some say it’s selfish act. In any event.. it makes family think more,
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I’m so sorry to read your update. Your poor aunt was a troubled soul and your cousins have now lost both parents to suicide. There seems to be a lot in the news lately about seniors being near the top as to the age group who commit suicide. I believe over 20% of those who choose this path are over 85. It is discussed on the forum as an alternative but it is still shocking to hear no matter how dismal a life may have seemed. I remember your mom had several living siblings. I hope they are able to support one another and your cousins. Again I’m so sorry. My condolences on your loss.
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