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And he has taken all of her money. She literally has nothing left and now he doesn't want her living in his house. Can he just dump her out? Now that she has no money left, he is wanting others to take her in - who live out of state. Not sure what to do here.

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Your mom is your brother's problem. Let him deal with the mess. After all, he got all of the money.
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The money is gone.
Your mother lived with your brother, and all he has to say is that she gave it to him, that is if there is even proof she every HAD any money.
And no one can prove otherwise, as mother has dementia.
So as far as any case against your brother legally, I would guess you have no case at all.

Your mother has (apparently, and unbeknowst to you) gifted all of her money to her son, when she was still well or when she was suffering dementia is unknown.
That was her right if she was competent, as she lived with him.
Now her care is too much for your brother, and you need to understand it would be too much for you as well.
The rest of the family should refuse to become involved. You were not involved before, so why would you suddenly become so.

When brother calls he should be given advice to attempt to see an elder law attorney.
He may or may not be her POA but it is likely, given the ease with which he took her funds that he is. He may even be the payee for her Social Security.
Your mother in now a legal resident at his home and his home is her residence.
He cannot evict her because she has Alzheimer's and that would be abandoning a relative when they are unable to care for themselves.
This is basically is problem now.

None of you should attempt to take on care of your mother unless you are fully capable and willing to take on 24/7 care of someone with dementia, and understand fully what the means to your own families and your own life.
Tell brother to contact an Elder Law Attorney for his options to place mother, on Medicaid, in care.

No one reported brother to APS in all this time; you were all likely not informed he was taking all her money? But now may be a good time to ask APS to do a wellness check.
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Mom made a choice to give your brother ALL her money. I doubt he stole anything. Now mom is his problem and he will need to find an appropriate place for mom to live.

How long ago did he get this money? If it is past the 5 year look back he will have no problem getting mom on medicaid and then into a facility. It is is within the 5 year look back he will have to give moms money back to her so she can private pay for a facility until her money runs out and then she will go on medicaid.

I would stay out of it if I were you, unless you want to move mom in with you.
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anxiousone Mar 20, 2024
She never had any assets. All the money she got was her social security checks and had some small savings. We found out that his name was on her account and he transferred all the money every month to his checking account. She received $1700 a month and by his admittance, her monthly medicine is just under $50 a month. What he used the money on, we don't know. In fact, it would not be a major issue if he did not want to just dump her out of the house and make her find someplace else to live. I travel extensively for work and live out of state, so i have no way to take care of her.
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If you can't be her Caregiver, then allow brother to place her in LTC with Medicaid paying their share for her care. Her SS and any pension she receives goes towards her care. Medicaid will ask for 5 yrs of bank statements. If found he used her money for anything other than her care, there will be penalties. Meaning he either pays for her care or he cares for her until the penalty has been met.
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Do not take her in with you! Brother is going to have to find placement for her. You can help with that if you want to. She won't be able to afford private pay memory care, she would have to go to a facility that takes state long term care Medicaid. She is going to need to apply.

About the money, if all she had was her SS check coming in each month, that could be explained as going to household expenses. I lived with my father and explained to the Medicaid caseworker we shared expenses for a variety of things for the house. It shouldn't be a problem getting Medicaid. If however, brother took a large sum out of her savings, that could be a different story. There may be a penalty period.

I would suggest telling brother no, sorry, but you can possibly help place her. You can also try contacting APS. if they show up and your brother is not there and mom is all alone, they may take her and put her in the hospital. There was a recent post here where that scenario actually happened. Brother can call APS as well and let them know he is unable to safely watch mom 24/7.

He can't just "dump her out" or leave her someplace, he'll likely get arrested. But he can try to find placement for her (don't let it be you or other family), or contact a social worker and let her know he needs assistance.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 20, 2024
How does the penalty situation work? What if the brother were to pay the money back? Then is it considered a loan instead of a gift? Or loans allowed?

It’s sad that an older person is penalized when their child takes advantage of them. I understand that rules can’t be broken but it’s awful for the parents.
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Consider Mom now, what is best for her as her health declines. Trying to prove her money was taken/enveigeled/stolen won't restore it and certainly Brother can't be forced to pay for her care.

Someone will need to take on the role of Mom's advocate/guardian/caregiver. If you cannot, turn to the State. Each one has an Area on Aging which has options counselors who help families learn what's available for them.

It's not fair that Mom become a hot potato at this stage in her life. Can you put heads together with other family to figure out a sustainable solution for Mom, either in someone's home or otherwise? And, depending on the progression of her AD, involve her.
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