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I have been staying with my Grandpa at night because in the mornings and sometimes night, his blood pressure gets very low and he has passed out and fallen multiple times. He gets up about 8 times a night to pee and uses the bedside commode to reduce his risk of falling. It's when he leaves the bedroom that he tends to get weak and fall. I'm needing something that will alert me when he leaves the bedroom but not alert me when my grandma leaves. Is this even possible? I've tried researching it but can't find anything for this particular situation. I've been sleeping on the floor right outside the bedroom so that I can get up with him but if I could find something to alert me then I would sleep in the basement and come up if he leaves the bedroom.

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This is unsustainable for you. You can’t be a 27/7 caretaker and sleep on the floor to prevent him from leaving. You need 8 hours of quality uninterrupted sleep before you get sick.

You are not taking care of yourself.
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TouchMatters Feb 19, 2024
Thank you.
Unfortunately, out of a desire to 'help,' people allow themselves to burn out and then are not able to support / help their loved one enough- or at all.

It is imperative that as we care for another, with this exhausting loving work, that we, as a care provider, take care of our self - FIRST by ...

1. Get help / caregivers when needed.
2. Ask for volunteers - churches, Next Door, Facebook, college students
- and/or pay a small stipend
3. Realize that you cannot do it all - this is the first step
4. For the safety and well-being of your loved one, make changes when they are needed, i.e.
* moving to assisted living or 24/7 care
* get more care in the home
* investigate financial support through Medi-caid, etc.
5. Do not wait for something to happen.
6. As needed, get into therapy yourself to learn how to manage the overwhelm, stress, exhaustion (by setting boundaries, learning that you cannot do it all, a space to express your sadness and grief - these are grief moments ... a person / loved one is declining. It is important to process these feelings and not allow them to get 'stuck' - it / they will deplete you.
7. Pray and/or meditate.
8. Get regular respites (from 2 hours to 2 days to 2 weeks) as needed.

Gena / Touch Matters
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There are alarm systems that are keyed to a doorway and the person wears a bracelet, anklet or lanyard with the device that sets off the alarm. My mother had this in her memory care unit. Here's an article about it https://www.verywellhealth.com/safety-in-dementia-door-alarms-98172.
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If I understand this correctly, no alarm is needed if he gets up and uses the commode. An alarm is needed if he LEAVES the room. I suggest what they call a hotel room alarm. You can find them on Amazon.
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Igloocar Feb 17, 2024
Thank you, Kathleen. You are correct, and I was not. The alarm is needed only if he leaves the room but not when he gets up and uses the bedside commode!
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See if they are willing to sleep on different mattresses. 2 twin beds placed next to each other is the same size as a king bed. You can get a pressure-sensor on Grandpa's side of the bed that will alarm whenever he gets up during the night. Since he is getting up a lot at night, please get him an appointment with his medical doctor or urologist (if he is already seeing one). He probably has an enlarged prostate. There are medications that can help with this problem.
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What medical workup has been done for this severe hypotension?
It sounds primarily orthostatic, that is change in position effects it.
What medications is your grandfather on that effect his blood pressure?
How often do you measure his blood pressure?
What has the MD said about the severity of this hypotension?

Often it is balance more than anything taking elders down; that often cannot be fixed. But hyptension often can be fixed.
That I know of no such device as you mention exists unless grandfather is willing actually to push a button on a device to alert you.
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There are floor alarms that will go off if he stands on it. If he is sleeping on the left side of the bed you place the floor alarm there and if he gets out of bed it will go off, if grandma gets out of bed from the right side of the bed it will not alert.
I suppose the "problem" would be is the alarm will wake everyone up.

If he uses a bedside commode is there a reason he leaves the bedroom?
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Absolutely get a floor alarm on your grandpa side of the bed. Also be very careful sleeping outside there door. Being a caregiver is exhausting I know from experience and sometimes you may not hear them get up they may fall on you and hurt them self and you.
Also absolutely talk to Doctor about low blood sugar ASAP.
Good -luck don’t forget to take care of yourself too!
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You can get a motion detection device and put it on his side of the bed, beyond his portable toilet. Amazon has many choices.
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If they regularly sleep on the same side of the bed and the bed is fairly wide (e.g., queen), then you could put an alert device under his side of the bed that would sound when he gets up. If you want the alert to sound only when he moves away from the bed, but not when he uses the bedside commode, you might be able to set up a motion detector in his movement path if he usually moves along the floor in the same path. However, even if you were able to do this, it might be too late to prevent a possible fall. In either case, if you need the alarm to go off in the room where he is sleeping (because you are there also), then the alarm may wake up your grandmother, too. Possib,y if she doesn't have severe dementia, she would be willing to wear earplugs at night as I do if I am traveling and can't avoid highway noise. They're never perfect, but they might reduce the noise enough that the alarm would not wake her.
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SocialWorker23: Get a floor alarm for the elder. However, the reason for his low blood pressure and resulting falls MUST be addressed by his physician.
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