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We are having difficulty because the person we are caring for is telling us and her visiting nurses things that are not true. Sometimes what she makes up are things that are alarming to us and others. She sometimes even makes awkward or hurtful claims about people that aren't true. The best we've done is to clarify the truth to those concerned but if we try to discuss the truth with her she gets angry or upset.

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That sounds time-consuming and stressful for you to have to constantly "fix" things and not knowing what she will say next. I've been told that elders will sometimes have a dream about something or see something on TV and they incorporate that into their thoughts because they think it happened. Alarming things are not uncommon. I had an elder tell me she witnessed a murder (she hadn't) and provided some details of such. Wow. She believed it 100%. And that wasn't the only thing she came up with. In her case, it helped to have her sleep regulated better (with medication) and her diabetes needed to be kept in check. Both seemed to help her overall functioning and incorrect thinking.
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LotusLover Jun 2020
Hmmm. Yes, we make sure she has regular medical work ups to check for diabetes and UTIs and if her medication needs adjusting. If her anxiety becomes extreme, we can ask the Dr. about addressing that but she is very much against taking any additional medication and we understand and appreciate that. Thank you for sharing these experiences!
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She's not lying, this is part of her dementia symptoms. She fully believes what she's telling you, therefore, not lying. Experienced in-home helpers are totally familiar with this behavior. It would help you (and your mom) to educate yourself by researching dementia/cognitive decline. YouTube videos from Teepa Snow are very informative. You can't discuss "the truth" with her because what she is experiencing IS her truth. She is already in a disturbed state from her delusions, and arguing with her will make it worse. Spend your energies on learning about her cognitive decline and how to deal with it effectively. I wish you much wisdom!
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LotusLover Jun 2020
Yes. Trying to discuss the truth just makes her angry or upset. Thanks. I will watch Teepa.
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If she has dementia, I'd read a lot about symptoms and delusions. Delusions are not uncommon with dementia. Of course, I'd discuss it with her doctor. They may want to rule out UTI, medication issues, etc. If she's overly anxious, agitated, worried, etc. I'd explore daily medication. My LO had some delusions that bothered her and some that did not. Some that she cried over and worried were that her cat could escape from the home through a crevice the size of a pea. She could not stop worrying, checking, pacing, taping the floors, walls, trying to keep the cat from escaping. She was inconsolable. The doctor prescribed a daily medication for anxiety and depression that really helped A LOT! It was amazing. That pretty much helped keep her content. Later on in MC, she had a few delusions that were pleasant. She thought that her doctor slept on the couch in her MC facility. And, that a deliveryman came on a large horse and took her riding to the store for ice cream! So, we talked about how much she enjoyed this. Occasionally, there would be something that was wrong that she could not explain verbally, but, after confirming there was no trouble, I'd comfort her by saying that things had been resolved, worked out, fixed, etc. And, that she could relax...all was well. Of course, I'd have to repeat this over and over, because, she would forget.

I would check to make sure that what she is describing is not true, though. Since, she isn't in touch with reality, I'd ensure that some trusted person supervises her for her own safety. You can't really convince her she's wrong. You might also check out some videos on you tube by Teepa Snow about managing someone with dementia.
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LotusLover Jun 2020
Thank you. All your suggestions are affirming or thought provoking. I love that the delusions were sometimes fun! And thanks for the reminder to always check things out to find out what part may be true and also to repeat reassuring words. I will definitely check out Teepa! Thanks!!
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Here is a link from Agingcare.com about Confabulation which is what it sounds like the person you're caring for is doing:

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-handle-alzheimers-disease-lying-144204.htm

Dementia/Alzheimer's is a very difficult thing to deal with, for all concerned. Hopefully the article gives you some useful tips to help you navigate the stories she's telling.

Good luck!
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LotusLover Jun 2020
Oh my goodness! Thank you so much! This is sooooo exactly what we are experiencing. I've already emailed the link to family members. Thank you!
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