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I am nearly at a breaking point. :-(. I have GOT to have some time to myself. Taking care of my mother 24/7 is really taking a toll on both my physical and mental health. I just need maybe a couple hours a week to be able to relax. Where should I look for this type of help, or who should I contact?

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I am going through the same thing,, but last week she had a docter appointment I was telling him I need help , she is 94,, someone to come in once in awhile so I can get some time to myself, For 3 and half years the only vacation I get is a fast run to the drug store or food store,, So he waschecking her memory,, and she knew it,, she told him about how long my brothers birthwas my sisters mine and a few other past events he looked at me said her memory seemed fine I got pissed ,, I looked at her and said what did we have for dinner last night,,, she went blank, what day is it ,, she was off by 2 days,, so than he sent a nurse to our house for evauation,,,now another is coming today for physical theorpy, another tomorrow for homecare,, but he finally signed so paperwork,, Hopefully this will lead to help,,, it is very hard on caretakers and other people just keep telling me your doing a great job,,, I feel like hitting them
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Is she under Hospice care and if not does she qualify? We are putting my mom this coming Monday in a nursing home for five days to give my dad a break. Hospice is handling everything with the nursing home and transportation. They will do this every 60 days for five days. Check with her doctor about Hospice.
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You might want to try the Alzheimer's Association they have different programs and will steer you into the directions on how to get the help that you need. They were very good for me and my situation. I was also taking care of my mother 24-7 until I eventually had to put her in a nursing home. it was the one thing that I had promised her that I would never do and believe me it was the hardest thing that I had ever done but I had no choice. I was physically and mentally drained and although I had plenty of family members no one came to help me... as caretakers no one knows what we deal with on a day-to-day basis it's hard and it sometimes feels like you're all alone and no one cares but get the help that you need quickly before you find yourself sick and not able to care for your mother. I wish you the best.....
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Vna has wonderful companions and they are given federal background checks. I have had dad in respite care 3 times a week each time. I had to self pay but the break was worth it. (Wished i could afford a month lol) we went to a local nursing home where he knew other patients and most of the staff, which helped. There are grants for 500.00 towards respite care but there is a limit to income, etc. Not sure of your financial situation. Like i said it was WORTH it for my physical and mental sanity and knowing he was in good hands eased my anxiety. It has gotten so bad now that i also hired a caregiver 3 nights a week from midnight to 7 am so i can get a few good nights sleep a week. As it gets worse (parkinsons) i will hire more because i (and i'm sure you) want to continue to live afterwards in good health. I'm willing to give up most of my life for him but not my sanity and health. Call your local vna. They are wonderful in helping you fill out forms for financial help and researching for you...which can ease your work load. Good luck. Hope this post helps. Know that we are all hear to listen and help you with our experiences. I don't know where i would be without the wonderful people on this site. Hang in there!
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The local agency for Ageing is a good place to ask. Some nursing homes have web sites that show they do short respite care. Be sure to check out the NH well.
There are agencies that provide home care too in most areas. Make sure to choose a well known one in your area. Maybe the doctor's office or nurse there can give you some names of who other patients use too. Good luck and remember that the small moments you take for yourself add up as well. I cared for my Mom 24/7 for 19 months and learned that even the short moments for yourself do help!
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LO is our abrivation for loved one
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Try to contact, the senior center within your state...they can help sort out what you can do. As the primary caretaker, you NEED a time away to recover from the daily toll of caretaking...do it for you and the patient.

Options are respite care coming to your home or even an adult day care program. Stay strong =(
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Reach out to a local in home care agency. Most can provide respite care for a few hours a day/week to give you a chance to 'recharge your batteries'. The costs are typically fairly low, and depending depending on your state of residence, the care may be covered by Medicaid Waiver or perhaps Veterans Administration if either your mother or father were in the Service.

I suggest starting with your local Agency for Aging or the Dept of Health and Human Services.
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There are caregiver agencies listed in every phone book, and often reviews. I had to pay out of pocket (using mom's dwindling finances) $25 an hour but they were vetted, always always showed up, even on holidays and in the evening. I later learned many churches have a list of people who will come in for much less, and if they live nearby, so much the better. My friend has a 92 year old mother still in independent living and has hired someone from her church to stop in morning and evening. You realize as bad as it is now, she will need more and more and more care, so I would call the Office for Aging for suggestions, not just for respite, but for further down the road.
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'Lassie Give a Hug' is spot on with the answer. You may also Google "Home Care" or "Respite Care", you should get multiple hits for local agencies. Good luck.
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