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Senior received costume jewelry from daughter.


Brother states that valuables cannot be worn by his mom because the facility states they do not want any valuables left on the senior.


Senior asked to wear them and she has been wearing them for 3 weeks now. No one at the facility has approached us about the jewelry; we see the senior 3-4 times a week.

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My mother wore tons of costume jewelry in her AL and when she was in Memory Care AL as well. None of it was lost or stolen or flushed down the john either. She always looked stylish and I made sure she had jewelry to hang on each hanger along with the corresponding outfit.

Tell brother to mind his own business and leave his mother alone to enjoy one of the few pleasures she has left in life, for petesake.
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AlvaDeer Jun 2023
Friend Hulda regularly flushed her dentures down the John. Luckily she wasn't a lover of jewels. But plumbing issues abound in facilities.
Hee Hee.
I am for wearing the jewels, no matter where they end.
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I’ve always seen ladies in managed care setting dressed from head to toe including jewelry in all its fake fineness. It isn’t hurting a thing and gets them loads of compliments. Brother is a kill joy
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My daughter has talked about one of her residents that dressed up everyday. In a dress, nice pair of shoes and...her jewelry.

As long as its not expensive, who cares. There are probably few things she can enjoy now so let her have her jewelry.
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Sure it is safer to not have the airloom brooches, diamonds & pearls in group living. But costume jewellery?

My goodness, who is this Brother? The Anti-Fun Police?

The ladies I see in AL, NH & MC wear as much costume bling as they like! As will I one day.
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I would say don't bring up the question if she is not getting any hassle for wearing the jewelry. There could be some long-ignored rule that they would find if she asked whether wearing costume jewelry is OK. If the home brings it up themselves, then just follow what they say is the rule
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Costume jewelry is not often considered "valuable" in the sense money and fine jewelry is. The mom should be able to have this AS LONG AS it is recognized that this stuff may disappear. It may be taken by other residents, by staff, or flushed down the toilet along with glasses and dentures. This is the fact of facilities.

My brother in ALF had to sign certain forms to A) keep and give his own meds, B) keep certain items, and cash not more than __________ , and C) not be disturbed at night unless a problem was suspected by staff entering room.

This could well serve for costume jewelry as well.

Do recognize that some costume jewelry today IS INDEED very valuable on collector sites, and that this MAY go missing. But if this senior loves bling I don't know why this would not be allowed. Certainly some of the gals in my brother's facility were well turned out indeed!

Discuss this with administration at the facility. Their rules are what they are.
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Valueables mean anything of monetary value. When my mom went to MC, I told a little fib t hat I was taking her rings to be repaired and cleaned. She loved to wear jewelry and so I was not surprised that she found a lovely emeral ring which I returned to the director. No one ever claimed that ring which was quite large and valuable.
On the other hand, I left with her several of her costume jewelry which she always wore something every day. I kept 3 of her favorite pieces hanging on Command hooks on her wall. Eventually she stopped wearing earings but the necklaces were part of her up till several months before her death
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betskand Jul 2023
What is a "Command hook?"
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My mother never leaves her bedroom without earrings, rings and a necklace. Of course the front of her hair is died purple and blue. If you ask (and it is a day she can talk) she will tell you she is 50 years old. But she looks great for 96!
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NeedHelpWithMom Jul 2023
😊 Your mom is a rockstar!
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I don't think the jewelry has sentimental value. From what the OP's profile page says, it sounds more like the brother is being difficult.
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You answered your own question:

”No one at the facility has approached us about the jewelry.”
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